Thursday, June 21, 2007
Illustration Friday on Thursday - REJECTED!..
Hey, look! No, not over THERE, right HERE! Yes! It's Thursday all of a sudden! I know, I know, I haven't participated in an Illustration Friday topic in a good long time and, to be frank, I didn't have any intention of participating this week either. The reason being is that I was quite busy with an illustration project for work (you know, the place that lets me hang around and then pays me so I don't lose my house). I spent perhaps 7 hours on the project and had the deadline moved up significantly while in the middle of it and then, to add insult to injury, the final project was rejected. Ironic that the Illustration Friday theme word this week would be just that, "rejected," eh? Anyhow, even though it was not well received here, perhaps it can bring you kids a small amount of joy...
click it! It gets HUGE!
This was a birthday card for one of our clients. It was rejected because, and I quote, "it doesn't look exactly like him." No shit, Sherlock, it's a caricature. Anyhow, there you go...We all have to be rejected now and then. As always, thanks for stopping by. You kids have a fine Thursday now...
click it! It gets HUGE!
This was a birthday card for one of our clients. It was rejected because, and I quote, "it doesn't look exactly like him." No shit, Sherlock, it's a caricature. Anyhow, there you go...We all have to be rejected now and then. As always, thanks for stopping by. You kids have a fine Thursday now...
Labels: Illustrations, indignities, Phun With Photoshop
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Illustration Friday on Thursday...LoLcAtBaStEt...
Without any fanfare, I should say right up front that this week's Illustration Friday theme word is "signs." In a pathetic attempt to shoehorn something that I wanted to do into said theme, I have an "illustration" this week. Before I show it to you kids, though, I should explain why I did what I did...Now, I know that I'm often "late to the party," so to speak, when it comes to internet phenomena. As such, these lolcats which are tacked all over the internets are no exception. However, even though I only recently became aware of these silly things, I have decided to make my own version just in time for Thursday...
clicky to see the bigger image
Now, I know that this is likely to be funny to like...One person, but there you go. As always, thanks for stopping by. You kids have a fine Thursday now...
clicky to see the bigger image
Now, I know that this is likely to be funny to like...One person, but there you go. As always, thanks for stopping by. You kids have a fine Thursday now...
Labels: Illustrations, Phun With Photoshop
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Would I Like To Post? Sure. Do I Have Anything? No...
Indeed, like the headline states, I'm just not filled with post-related goodness which I can spill out as a blog post for you kids today...I should apologize, but that would just be disingenuous, now wouldn't it? Anyhow, in the stead of actual content, here are two poorly crafted unmotivational posters to tide you kids over until awesomecast day...
clickum for biggum
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Labels: Phun With Photoshop, spoof posters
Friday, April 27, 2007
Friday Four-Fer - More Lack of Motivation...
Hey, you know what? Yeah, you're right...It's Friday all of a sudden. You know, after being deathly ill and stuff, I really wasn't able to find the time to gather up stuff to make even the tiniest of photoblogs or (God forbid) a videoblog. Now, just because I'm the type to feel guilty for no good reason, I am going to post something. If you kids remember some of those "unmotivational posters" which I've posted before...well...You're about to have more to (not) remember. Four of them, in fact. And after you check them out, you'll probably realize pretty swiftly why I hadn't shared them up until now. Anyhow, since I don't have anything better, here we go...
clicky! You can READ 'em if'n you do!
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So there you go...A four-fer...Um...Yeah...We're done here...You kids have a fine weekend now...
Labels: Phun With Photoshop, spoof posters
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Illustration Friday on Thursday - Polar Opposites...
Hey, wow...It's effin' Thursday all of a sudden. For me, this day before the final day of the workweek came around in a stealthier manner than usual 'cause I was home sick and fixin' to die yesterday. As such, I wasn't really up for doing a full-blown illustration for this week's Illustration Friday theme word (which was "polar") EVEN THOUGH I had wanted to real bad since it was suggested by the only person whom I've ever purchased art from in my life (Jared Von Hindman). Anyway, I did have a flash of inspiration this morning and was able to slap the following together for your collective viewing enjoyment:
click it! It'll get BIG!
So there you go. As always, thanks for stopping by. You kids have a fine Thursday now...
click it! It'll get BIG!
So there you go. As always, thanks for stopping by. You kids have a fine Thursday now...
Labels: cartoons n' stuff, Illustrations, Phun With Photoshop
Friday, March 23, 2007
Total Cop-Out Friday Post - Kidnapping (For Fun And Profit)...
Hey, who's a big, fat lazy slacker? ME! Yeah, for the second week in a row, I somehow was able to completely ignore the need for a Friday post of any kind. As such, just so you kids have something to stare at for an average of 2.7 seconds, I've decided to share another one of them not-so-motivational posters. This one, in fact, is not so much unmotivational as it is just...Well, it encourages illicit behavior. As such, it's just a joke. Officially, it's just a joke...Don't try this in your hometown, kids...
click the joke to see it bigger (and even more readable)
I kind of liked the line "Grand Theft Asian" from this one. I mean, it's not all that great, but I just liked that line. It was almost the headline, but it was simply too many words...Damn them words! So many letters...
As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a fine weekend now...
Labels: Phun With Photoshop, spoof posters
Monday, March 19, 2007
Murder Mystery Monday (With Pictures)...
Since I've got stuff to do and little time in which to do it, I've decided to fill space with...well...With this...A sordid tale of murder told with only a few words and one delightful picture. Please to be enjoying:
click it, it'll suddenly become larger and (at the same time) "readable."
So there's that. Thanks for stopping by, kids...
Labels: Phun With Photoshop, stagnation
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Lack Of Motivation Tuesday - Learn To Read!..
Hey, kids! IT'S TUESDAY! Yay! Hey, remember back when I had nothing to post and I put up a half-assed "unmotivational poster?" Huh? Remember that? Huh?..
Ok, I don't expect you to remember it. It's ok. As such, if you're one of the lucky ones who don't remember that, what follows will seem fresh and new. Those of you who can recall my previous effort, here's "number two" (in more ways than one)...
clicky! You see it BIG!
So there you go. As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a fine Tuesday now.
Labels: Phun With Photoshop, spoof posters
Monday, February 19, 2007
Picked Last Or Eliminated First: Which Is Worse?..
Since you're wondering (don't lie, you know you are), once the voting-related smoke had cleared, the field of nearly 40 individuals (myself included) vying for the position of Dining Critic at the local newspaper was whittled down to only three. I received an email last Thursday which let me know that I was not, in fact, one of the chosen few. As such, when you see me offer my opinions on food in the future, it will continue to be in a non-professional capacity for no compensation. The good news, I guess, would be that I'll still be able to utilize phrases such as "fuck yeah" and "that was horseshit" while I offer said opinions as opposed to having to "clean things up" for a wider, less accepting audience. Additionally, being an actual, no-kiddin' dining critic would've made my life even busier than it is...In that regard, not winning the "contest" might have been good for me...Either way, the dream, she is dead like so many mad cows at the slaughterhouse...Or Chickens at the...Um..."Place where chickens is killed."
On a totally unrelated note, I was dinkin' around with some of our many 1980s stock photos last week and was able to slap together a few "less than motivational" posters, one of which I shall share with you kids now...It's theme is "exclusion." Enjoy.
clicky! It gets BIG!
Labels: I eat food, indignities, Phun With Photoshop
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Small Ads From The Backs of Comic Books...
Sometimes, when we're busy, we post things that we don't have any explanation for. Like this:
Seriously, though: tomorrow is Awesomecast day...So that shouldn't suck...Too bad...
Seriously, though: tomorrow is Awesomecast day...So that shouldn't suck...Too bad...
Labels: Phun With Photoshop, pointless shit, stagnation
Monday, July 31, 2006
More Fun With Magazine Covers...
So a little while ago (Heck, it may even have been as recent as "last week"), Collin pointed me towards a site which contained a veritable treasure-trove of old magazine covers from like...The 1950s...and stuff...Anyhow, knowing that I have a penchant for modifying things like that for no other reason than "my own twisted amusement," he pointed out that doing such things with said old magazine covers could (potentially) bring some people "the joy." Since another penchant of mine is as purveyor of all things joyous (shut up, it SO is), I present to you the following:
click it, it gets ever so much bigger!
So there's that. I really don't think it needs much more of an explanation than the one which I've already given...With that said, thanks for stopping by and, oh yeah...Pleasant dreams...
click it, it gets ever so much bigger!
So there's that. I really don't think it needs much more of an explanation than the one which I've already given...With that said, thanks for stopping by and, oh yeah...Pleasant dreams...
Labels: collin crap, Phun With Photoshop, spooky shit
Friday, June 16, 2006
Phrickin' Photo...Well, actually..."Technical Difficulties" Ensue...
Indeed, we have no Photoblog for your viewing pleasure today and for this, I am quite apologetic. I know, I know, you only came around today to see if I had some embarrassing family photos to share but, sadly, I am unable to do that. "Why?" you may ask? Well, I could LIE to you and say goofy things like "I didn't bring pictures to scan" but that would be doing a disservice to the Photoblog. Verily, Phrickin' Photoblog has run off to join the front lines! click to see it bigger
PIXELS FOR THE WAR EFFORT! No more photoblogs until we defeat them Nazis! Keep the (digital) home fires burning! WE CAN DO IT!
...What's that? You say we beat them Germans YEARS ago? Dammit! The Photoblog LIED to me! I feel so USED!..
Anyhow, thanks for stopping by...You all have a fine weekend now...
Labels: get outta town, Phrickin' Photoblogs, Phun With Photoshop, stagnation
Friday, June 09, 2006
Phrickin' Photoblog Phriday-No Pictures For You!..
Yep...Just like that fortune cookie says, NO PICTURES FOR YOU! Nope, no way...I'm done with the Photoblogging...Forever. Seriously, shoo! Go! Nothing to see here!..
Oh, ok, fine. You want the little pictures? I give you little pictures. Hell, I'll even give you a THEME! The theme: "People that I have worked with." Happy? Good...here we go.
click them and make them HUGE!
Aww, shit! It's a ToMo the Mofo sighting! Tony worked with us for a while and, as this here wanted poster suggests, for some reason, he took great pleasure in molesting the plush toys which I used to keep at my desk. No, I'm not kidding...MO-LEST-ED...Anyhow, after I posted this around the agency, the plushy attacks slowed down for the most part. They didn't STOP, mind you, but it sure slowed him down a bit...
This here is a caricature of that same Tony which I did for a card which everybody signed congratulating him for gettin' hitched...I kind of feel bad for the way I portrayed him in this cartoon: I shouldn't have been so flattering...Ah well, live and learn, right?..
Ah, here's someone that STILL works at the agency. As you can well imagine, this is "Surly Scott," who gets a bit cranky if he hasn't had his nap. Ok, fine: truth be told, I really don't know how I got lucky enough to snap this shot, the guy is usually smiling...You gotta act fast sometimes and, dammit, I did...
Ah, but you want to speak about SURLY...Unbridled anger, thy name is Nicole. Nicole worked with us in the art department for a while a couple years back...Hell, you could SO CONSISTENTLY count on her to be angry (and mean!) that before she left, I was able to record her "performing" her "stock epithets" and turn it into a (very angry) techno dance mix...What, you think I'm KIDDING about such things? You wanna LISTEN to that remix? Here you go:
Ah, but enough of the angry, surly employees...Here's a very placid Collin, possibly reminiscing about...Something...Or maybe he's just drifting off to sleep...The big, autographed Alan Jackson poster would do that to people..."You are under my country music spell...sleep...sleeeeeeep."
Ha HA! Of course, who can forget the time when Collin saved me from certain doom at the hands of random Japanese robots! Ah, good times...
Anyhow, there you go: yet another half-assed photoblog cobbled together with (digital) spit and (digital) baling wire. You all have a fine weekend and, as always, thanks for stopping by...
Labels: audio, cartoons n' stuff, collin crap, indignities, office supply aggression, Phrickin' Photoblogs, Phun With Photoshop, random drawings, stagnation
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Illustration Friday on Thursday - Portrait of a Lack of Inspiration...
Hey. It's Thursday. So yeah. Illustration Friday. This week: "portrait." You wanna talk about a topic where EVERYBODY can get away with posting like...ANYTHING...This week is it. "Well, this is a portrait of a rock. This is a portrait of my dog. This is a portrait of what I posted last week." Anyhow, due to lack of inspiration (and wealth of actual busy work), I, too, just yanked something I had already done as an actual work assignment for you kids to ogle this week:
Clicky clicky!
This was a get well card (duh) for someone who had been recently thrown from a horse and had his pelvis shattered. As you can see, compassion is my middle name, hence the special ed helmet. Hey, at least I didn't put him in a pelvic brace...Anyhow, thanks for stopping by: have a great Thursday...
Clicky clicky!
This was a get well card (duh) for someone who had been recently thrown from a horse and had his pelvis shattered. As you can see, compassion is my middle name, hence the special ed helmet. Hey, at least I didn't put him in a pelvic brace...Anyhow, thanks for stopping by: have a great Thursday...
Labels: cartoons n' stuff, Illustrations, indignities, Phun With Photoshop
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I've Got So Much "Nothing"...
No, really: I have NOTHING going on upstairs today. Nothing to type about, nothing to post, not a damn thing. Now, you'd think that, following a three-day weekend filled to the proverbial BRIM with mirth (also: relaxation) that I would be sufficiently recharged to the point where I would be able to provide you, loyal reader, with content which you could consider "worth a damn." Of course, if you thought that, you would be WRONG! SO STINKING WRONG!..W. Wrongy Wrongenstein! That would be YOUR name! Ha HA!..
Anyway...
Way back in February, HappyFunBall mentioned, in passing, that she wanted to see anything done up which was related to the phrase "Final Destination for Dummies." Being that I have the ability to produce such items in a rapid fashion, and given that I'll do just about anything goofy or strange, no questions asked, I did such a thing up. Considering it's current age (almost 3 months, it started walking last week!), I am now prepared to share that thing with you in lieu of anything mildly awesome (or, at the very least, slightly intriguing).
click it, it gets all "big"
In retrospect, since some theologians now believe the number of the beast to be 616, not 666, I should've made the edition correlate. Of course, doing such a thing would mean that I was not only "paying attention" but that I really "care about the little things" and those of you who actually know me understand that such a thing would be a rare occurance indeed...Anyhow, enjoy that stupid thing up there for now and, as always, thanks for stopping by...
Labels: lame stories, Phun With Photoshop, religion, spooky shit, stagnation
Friday, May 26, 2006
Phrickin' Photoblog Phriday-It's Vacation Time!..
Holy smoke, it's FRIDAY (yay) and not just ANY Friday, but the Friday prior to the Memorial Day holiday here in the good ol' U.S. of A...As such, keeping with the grand tradition of folks loadin' up the Family Truckster and heading on vacation during this upcoming weekend (something which I am NOT doing, by the way), I'll be sharing some photos of myself during past vacations with you for today's Phrickin' Photoblog. I know you're all bloated with anticipation regarding said photos so I shall delay no longer! BRING ON THEM PHRIDAY PHOTOS!
When you click, they'll grow and your sad, fatigued eyeballs will have an easier time discerning "detail."
This here was from our trip to Niagara a few years back. That's me, there, pointing to the falls. Aren't they majestic? That was a fun day...Too bad we had such a low-end digital camera with us that day...
Ooh, this was a fun day! This was from our trip to Cleveland a few years back...There I am, excited as can be, 'cause we're about to go inside the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! Again, I'm a little disappointed in the quality of the actual "photo," but...Well, just ignore that for now...
Ooh, yeah, this was later in the same vacation, when we were visiting Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. Here I am, scared out of my mind, riding the Millennium Force, which is an amazingly tall coaster. Whew! THAT was a fun day, lemme tell ya...
...And speaking of "fun days," here I am visiting the Great Pyramids! Yeah, that was a hot and dry day...The sun, it was beating down MERCILESSLY...What's that? You don't think that this is an actual picture? Hey, shut up! I was THERE! I was SO THERE...Fine, moving on...
And here's a picture from when we visited the alternate universe, completely populated by overly aggressive cinnamon rolls and I had a hook for a hand! That vacation was...OK...Fine...So I forgot to scan some pictures for the big Photoblog Phriday and I tried to pass off some way half-assed scribbles as my pictures. So sue me...
Wait, no...On second thought, don't do that...
Anyhow, you all have a fine Memorial Day Weekend - Thanks for stopping by!
Labels: cartoons n' stuff, get outta town, Phrickin' Photoblogs, Phun With Photoshop, random drawings
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Can We Save Social Security?..
So yesterday, here at work, I (and the rest of the fine folks who work here at "the agency") had to sit through one of those "mandatory" 401-k meetings. See, every so often we're required to attend these meetings so that, between hearing about the bank representative's thoroughly uninteresting personal life, we can be chastised for not saving enough (but I AM) and not contributing enough to our 401-k plans (but I AM). Yesterday's meeting was so on the side of boring, in fact, that I nearly fell asleep standing up. At one point, though, during the chatter, the bank rep started in on the horror stories about Social Security and how, when us younger folk are ready to begin taking said Social Security, it simply will not exist and, if we haven't been contributing to our 401-ks, we'll be SCREWED! Anyway, as the chick prattled on about how Social Security shall surely bankrupt and how we shall all be cast into a lake of fire, wailing, gnashing of teeth, etc., Collin turned to me and, essentially, said what the following fake ad says now:
clicky for bigger!
Yep, if you believe all of them financial people, that seems like the only way we can keep Social Security goin'...If you want your kid to have his or her benefits, you'll have to give up yours...The hard way...Something tells me not too many people will volunteer for this plan, though...Eh, either way, you all have a fine Tuesday...
Labels: collin crap, indignities, lame stories, office supply aggression, Phun With Photoshop
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Illustration Friday on Thursday - DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!..
Hey, it's Thursday (fireworks, fanfare, sackcloth, ashes, wailing, gnashing of teeth) and, of course, that means that I'm about to slap you kids upside your collective digital heads with (yet) another sub-par Illustration Friday effort. This week's theme was "under the sea" which, as Collin pointed out, seems like an odd choice for a theme considering that "sea" was a theme only a handful of themes ago. Anyhow, regardless of whatever Ariel the Mermaid fetish that Penelope chick has, I'll play along...Here now is my (very poor) "under the sea" illustration:
Click on him, he'll get real big and stuff
Indeed, kids - if'n you're brave enough to venture down into the neighborhood of Davey Jones' Locker, THIS is what awaits! Spooky shark skeletons and...spooky...skeleton bubbles...Yeah...Since we all know that sharks don't actually HAVE skeletons, per se, you'd be really pretty safe if you were there. Seriously, when was the last time you heard of anybody getting their fool ass killed by a bubble?..
Click on him, he'll get real big and stuff
Indeed, kids - if'n you're brave enough to venture down into the neighborhood of Davey Jones' Locker, THIS is what awaits! Spooky shark skeletons and...spooky...skeleton bubbles...Yeah...Since we all know that sharks don't actually HAVE skeletons, per se, you'd be really pretty safe if you were there. Seriously, when was the last time you heard of anybody getting their fool ass killed by a bubble?..
Labels: cartoons n' stuff, Illustrations, Phun With Photoshop, spooky shit
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Illustration Friday on Thursday - Do The Robot!..
Well, lookie there! Wednesday just seemed to come and go (shut UP, it DID) without fanfare of any kind (seriously, shut UP) and (holy crap), It's "Thursday" all of a sudden! Of course, this can only mean that I'm about to unsheath my latest Illustration Friday offering. This week's theme was "robot" which proved fortuitous because, ha HA, I already HAD some robots drawn (which may not be something I should admit around Collin). Anyhow, having taken the robot which I had already sketched out (and some other stuff), assembling it and finishing it up some, I am now proud to be able to present to you all: the dancing robot.
click firmly on the dancing robot to see the larger dancing robot...
So there ye be: a dancing robot and (presumably) the (mad) scientist which assembled him. We can only assume that, in the near future, the robot shall tire of his master's commands and turn on him, dancing the poor man to shreds and, subsequently, dancing on the remote which controls him in a vain attempt to destroy it and be free. Of course, were the robot to do that, it would only turn him into some sort of spastic Riverdance robot and hilarity would, in fact, ensue...
Somedays, the robot just can't win...
click firmly on the dancing robot to see the larger dancing robot...
So there ye be: a dancing robot and (presumably) the (mad) scientist which assembled him. We can only assume that, in the near future, the robot shall tire of his master's commands and turn on him, dancing the poor man to shreds and, subsequently, dancing on the remote which controls him in a vain attempt to destroy it and be free. Of course, were the robot to do that, it would only turn him into some sort of spastic Riverdance robot and hilarity would, in fact, ensue...
Somedays, the robot just can't win...
Labels: cartoons n' stuff, Illustrations, Phun With Photoshop
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Illustration Friday on Thursday - Spotted (On the Street)...
Hey, look! It's "Thursday" and, even though I didn't actually have any time to prepare an actual "made from scratch" illustration for the ol' Illustration Friday thing, I did slap something together for this week's theme (it's "spotted," by the by) because I really figure that, without that little thing called "content," there ultimately is no good reason for any of you to continue to click through to my goofy blogsitething here and then there would be no good reason for me to keep maintaining it and THEN I'D CRY AND CRY AND THE WORLD WOULD SPIN OUT OF CONTROL AND CRASH INTO THE SUN! THE SUN!
um...Heh...Anyhow...
So here! Here's some "content!" Love the content! Comment on the content! Keep comin' back for more (content)! Save the world from SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL, INTO THE SUN!..click on the little fella', he'll get real, real big
So there you go, a short guy SPOTTED by the cops while in the process of looting. Or something. I know, I know...It's no homicidal clown-monkey, but...Well, now that I think of it, I have no excuse for that...The Homicidal clown-monkey IS pretty awesome...
You all have a fine Thursday, now...
um...Heh...Anyhow...
So here! Here's some "content!" Love the content! Comment on the content! Keep comin' back for more (content)! Save the world from SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL, INTO THE SUN!..click on the little fella', he'll get real, real big
So there you go, a short guy SPOTTED by the cops while in the process of looting. Or something. I know, I know...It's no homicidal clown-monkey, but...Well, now that I think of it, I have no excuse for that...The Homicidal clown-monkey IS pretty awesome...
You all have a fine Thursday, now...
Labels: cartoons n' stuff, Illustrations, Phun With Photoshop
