Ok, yeah. I know that Wednesday is supposed to be reserved for the podcastings. Look, it's almost midnight, alright? I JUST got the videos from last night's Freak Train chopped up and uploaded. I am NOT staying up to edit down the podcast. I'll get it done later. No rush. Nobody's going to go into shock that I didn't get something done. Anyway, here's a look at what I did last night. 3 jokes, people. That's what I had. 3. I guess that's all I needed...



And, as a point of reference, Justin:



So there you are. You kids have a fine Wednesday now. Also: Find me a job. That is all.

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train, lame stories, spoof commercials

Hey, look! It's Friday! Seriously, I'm pretty sure I could say anything in the lead-in to today's display of Freak Train video goodness because let's face it - nobody's going to expect anything to be here...Oh well, it looks like I'll be wasting that golden opportunity and just saying "hey, look! Videos from his month's Freak Train!"

Starting off with Justin, it's the 3rd in his "Mario Monologue" series...


And then it's on to me and some standup which I didn't particularly write or rehearse and yeah, you get out of it what you put into it...


So there you are, kids. As always, thanks for stopping by - you kids have a fine weekend now...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train, vaunted videoblogs

Oh, yeah, look at that, it's Friday. That WOULD mean, if I had my collective "shit" together, that I would be posting some manner of visual item for your eyes to enjoy (alternately: gaze upon). Lucky me, though, due to the fact that I stayed up last night after playing a late hockey game, I have such treats for your weary corneas in the form of the videos we shot at the most recent Freak Train this past Monday. We'll start with Justin and his second Mario Monologue, for which he has a new theme song courtesy of GameJew...Heck, why don't you just watch it, that way I can stop typing...And stuff...



Next up we have...well...me. I was going to do some standup comedy and had intended to write some but, due to the whole "being busy" thing, I never really got around to that so here I am, just kind of rolling off the top of my head, with "jokes" that either never made the cut before or that I never got around to using. As a quick side note, Jesus Christ, I'm fat...



So there you go. As always, thanks for stopping by. You kids have a fine Weekend now...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train, vaunted videoblogs

so hey, lookin' at the calendar you'd see that it's one of those "Fridays" all of a sudden. Indeed, since this past Monday was the date of Freak Train for October, and since both Justin and I went and performed, I have some videos to share with you kids. Just for the Hell of it, let's start with Justin's "Mario Monologue"...

Once again, Justin has quite the feel for the types of people which attend Freak Train and their entertainment wants and needs. That and, even though he's not quite fat enough, he makes a pretty convincing Mario...

Moving along to my performance from Monday, last year about this time, I did a little Halloween-themed karaoke act as "The Spooky Singing Ghost and his Disembodied Band." this year, not only did I ditch the Halloween theme, I was able to convince Terry, an engineer from work and a damn fine guitar player, to come up and back me up as I sang shouted like a nutcase into the microphone. Anyhow, here that is:
As always, I recommend listening with headphones as it might be hard to understand otherwise.

So yeah, there you go. More with the Freak Train videos for your visual enjoyment. As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a fine weekend now...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Singing Off-Key, vaunted videoblogs

You know something, when I gots me the free, high-speed internets in my hotel, not even being on a vacation can stop me from posting, especially since I have something so darn cool to share with you kids today. Indeed, I know that I still have Royal Gorge pictures but those things'll just have to wait for another Friday 'cause this past Monday, as you may already know, Justin Carmical finally went to Freak Train and did his little standup act and, since I brought my video camera, you get to see it right the Hell now:



Of course, I also did a little something at Freak Train...Yeah, i was gonna do some goofy card tricks...As I was backstage preparing my props, the act before me declared that she had cancer and shaved her head on stage. Nary a dry eye in the house and, yeah...I had to follow it...Anyway, here's how all of THAT went:



So there you go, kids...As always, thanks for stopping by...You have yourselves a collectively fine weekend...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Card Tricks, vaunted videoblogs

So hey, yeah. Um. Sure. I really should put some words together and make one of them "posts" for you kids to come and read n' stuff. Yes, yes, I know that I promised to recap our recent Las Vegas trip but...Well...That was a whole month ago that we took that trip and, I'm sorry, but the details are getting a just a wee bit cloudy in my procrastination-hindered brain, so...Well...OK, fine:

5 Days and 5 Nights in Las Vegas Nevada in As Few Words As Possible...
Monday we ate lunch at the Burger Bar located in Mandalay Place, between Mandalay Bay and the Luxor. Mmm, mmm! I had me a rare American Kobe beef burger on ciabatta topped with bleu cheese and pan seared foie gras. My parents absolutely loved the place (it was their first time there). We had a waitress on her first day (I had to point out foie gras on the menu) and who was obviously foreign. We all guessed Scandinavia, turned out to be that she was from Brazil. Anyhow, from lunch at the Burger Bar, we went to a wonderful early dinner at Diego inside the MGM Grand. My dad, who had been bugging me since we got to Vegas to "use the valet parking" finally got his way at the MGM. At Diego, we met up with Bison Andy's wife Andrea. We all had a wonderful meal, I enjoyed tacos al carbon, dad had the seafood pot, mom had...some food, I'm sure of it and...well, trust me, food was enjoyed by all. The next stop from the MGM was the Rio to see Penn and Teller and, I have to say, seeing them from front row center made the tricks look even BETTER...Teller even did the needle trick, during which he tossed me his partially eaten apple. A nice souvenir? No, it was sticky, I left it in the cupholder of my chair. Following the show, Teller was nice enough to take a picture with my mom and answer questions about his overly awesome shoes. Penn laughed heartily at my "Hardcore Straight Christian/Penn will tolerate me" t-shirt and posed for (yet another) picture with me. Tuesday saw us enjoying the magic and comedy of Mac King in the early afternoon and splitting up later that evening so the ladies could take in Mamma Mia at Mandalay Bay while us guys saw the Amazing Johnathan perform at the Sahara. Mom, I'm told, had a great time and thoroughly enjoyed their show while my dad and Big Al, my brother-in-law, never seemed to stop laughing at A.J. On to Wednesday, now, July 4th, Independence Day here in the states. Not feeling in top shape, I slept most of the day away on Shannon and Aldie's couch while the others played games and enjoyed barbecue. Refreshed, though, from my likely-dehydrated passing out, I joined my dad for the 11:00pm poker tournament back at our hotel (Sam's Town, in case you missed that back when I said it in my FIRST Vegas recap post). I didn't fare as well as dad did, considering the fact that he was the chip leader for some time. After I busted out, I found my new favorite Las Vegas activity: playing in a poker cash game. Yes sir, I'll be doing more of that as soon as I have an opportunity to, taking real monies from people...Whoo, now THAT'S fun...Anyhow, having got the "feeling sick" and "needing to sleep" mostly out of my system the day prior, I was ready to rock on Thursday, a day where we enjoyed breakfast at the Hash House A-Go-Go (the parents loved their food, as did we all...Again, it was their first visit to this legendary restaurant). Later that evening, we went to Austin's Steakhouse in the Texas Station Casino to celebrate Shannon and Aldie's first wedding anniversary. Even though I didn't enjoy my meal so much, everyone else at the table enjoyed the fare at Austin's immensely. After the steakhousing, it was back to the poker room for more cash game shenanigans. Indeed, on Friday morning, we all loaded into the family truckster and headed home, the bright lights of Sin City a rapidly fading rear-view mirror memory. While our wallets were significantly lighter...um...our...oh, who am I kidding? We all lost monies...That's really what it's about there, though...So there you go, kids, my long-promised recap of our recent Vegas trip. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it. No, really...

As if THAT Weren't Enough, I Gots A Softball Story...
So, the coed softball team that the wife and I play on called the B52s has literally been tearing up the league which we're now playing in. Granted, we've enjoyed success in the past, consistently placing in the top three of nearly every league we've participated in, but that elusive "first place" plaque has always eluded us (as elusive things are, duh, wont to do). Starting with this past spring season, the team began playing in the silver coed league at Cottonwood Creek Park instead of the (significantly closer to OUR house) Skyview Sports Complex. Granted, both leagues are under the same, city-run Parks n' rec umbrella, but the other teams were WAY nicer up at the new place as compared to the old place. We did pretty well in Spring ball, even though we finished 2nd. So far though, in the summer league, we're on a roll. Heck, going into last Friday's game, we were undefeated, having already beaten the only other undefeated team in the league in relatively convincing fashion. The only thing left standing between us and that damn championship was a team called "Mountain Perks" who had amassed an impressive 7-1 record, their only loss coming at the hands of (surprise) the previously undefeated team that, as you already know, we beat. Anyhow, as Friday's game got underway, it was clear that the Perks would be no pushovers. Their defense was solid and they had some very good hitters on the team. In their half of the third inning, their center fielder earned a base hit and, in getting held to a single, made kind of a "come on, bring it" gesture at our short stop when he didn't try and "pick him off." I thought to myself when I saw him to this "God, I hope this guy isn't going to be a prick the whole night."

Sadly, it seemed that he was...

Later in the inning, this same guy was trucking toward 3rd base, my new position, as OUR center fielder relayed the ball into me in hopes that I could tag THEIR center fielder out. As I received the ball, the fuckin' guy GRABS me as if to prevent me from placing a tag on him. As I was a little off-balance at the time, I took exception to the contact and tried to separate from the guy. As I did, he yanked on my jersey, as if trying to throw me to the ground. being the low center of gravity (read: fat) guy that I am, I reacted to his attempt in the only manner which seemed appropriate at the time: I grabbed HIS jersey, pulled him nose to nose with me and informed him that, if he didn't let go of me, I planned to snap his neck.

THAT opened the flood gates, let me tell you...
Once I let him know that I wasn't impressed with his little act, the fucker started cussing at me like nobody's business. He told me to "fuck off," he informed me in a less-than-polite manner that my team was "going down" and that I am a "bitch." After he was done, I told him to play things a little safer and to grow up, a suggestion that was met with two more "fuck yous" and another under-his-breath "bitch," considering the fact that both umpires were now keenly curious as to what was transpiring. Long story short, this guy got our whole team fired up and, in true B52 fashion, we targeted him in the outfield in the inning which followed, burning him for a number of runs. Once we built our lead, we didn't really look back, beating the Perks 15 to 6. Of course, the prick did find himself on third in the final inning...Thinking he would be able to outrun Andy's arm at short, he took off during a play and got gunned down at the plate, despite his trying to run down Elizabeth, our catcher. I've never seen one guy look so pathetically sick to his stomach following that final play, having been bested NOT ONLY by the team which he proclaimed was "going down," but by the girl that he figured he could bowl over...It's no wonder he wouldn't look at any of us in the handshake line...

A Wee Bit On Freak Train and Then I'm Goin' To Bed...
Yes, kids, I'm fashioning this post which you've been reading after having driven home from this month's Freak Train at the Bug Theater in Denver. I did a little card magic in lieu of standup and, I have to say, it went over very well...I had a ton of fun doing it, even though I didn't get to the finish of my second trick. The real story of Freak Train, though, is Justin...Yes, Justin Carmical, he of the fever dream routine from so many months ago who's been promising to go to Freak Train since the beginning of the year...He FINALLY WENT! Oh dear lord, his routine was spot-on for the demographics of the room, too, he did so well, I was prouder than a very proud thing of how well he did. Much fun was had by all and videos (including a sad tale of what the act before me did to make my following her impossible) will be posted this coming Friday for all to see.

So that's that, a long-winded conglomerate post for your Tuesday readin' pleasures. As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a fine day (and whatnot).

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Card Tricks, Freak Train, get outta town, I eat food, sports

Crap, look at that...It's Tuesday already and I haven't posted a single damned thing since this past Friday. Granted, I could just say "hey, at least I posted on Friday," but you and I both know that such things just aren't going to "cut the mustard," as the kids say. As such, here comes one of them "retrospectives" which contains doin's and stuff since this past Friday. Get ready. Here we go.

If The Weather Keeps Up Like It Has, We'll NEVER Play Softball...
Indeed, for the past two weeks here in Colorado Springs, the day called "Friday" has been pretty crappy as far as weather is concerned. Two Fridays ago, when the Spring softball season was supposed to begin for the team that I play on, the temperature was 'round 20° with wind and freezing rain. As you can well imagine, those games had to be postponed and tacked on to the end of the season. Continuing the trend, this past Friday, which would have also been a day to play the softball, we had snow (a pretty typical Springtime occurrence 'round these parts). As such, those games also had to be put off with the promise that they'd be played eventually. At this point, though, the Park and Recreation folks are surely running out of days with which to fulfill said game playin' promises. Either way, it'll surely be nice if we get to play this coming Friday. If not...Well...I guess we could wait until Summer...Hell, it looks like we may HAVE to wait until Summer...

Making Things Look Pretty Can Be Dangerous Work...
So the wife and I (well, I should really say that it was the wife's idea) decided to paint our bedroom and put up a wallpaper border in an effort to make things look...well...Less like crap...Anyhow, this (like most projects) turned out to be a bit of a hassle, what with the whole moving stuff around and still needing to be able to sleep somewhere...Anyhow, over the weekend, we finally got around to the wallpaper border step (one of the last steps, just so's you know) and, in a random moment of clumsiness while measuring out one wall for the wallpaper application, I tripped over the cord of my wife's alarm clock and landed on the bedframe, taking a rather large chunk of meat out of the bottom of my left foot...Strangely enough, despite the large gash and the significant pain (and obvious hindrance to walkies), the wound never bled...So now I'm faced with another quandary: are my feet really that calloused, or am I experiencing circulation problems? If any of you kids reading are real, no-kidding doctors, um...Should I be worried?

Can You Really Take A Class To Become Funnier?..
So since the wife was going to be off playing the Bunco on Sunday evening, I decided to check out the stand-up comedy workshop at the comedy club here in town. Now, I'd been vaguely aware of this thing for...Well, for years now, but never actually got around to being part of it. That is, of course, until this past Sunday...I have to say, it's not a bad little workshop, the cost is a mere five dollars which gets you about an hour and a half with a real working standup comedian and a couple minutes stage time for evaluation in front of the (itty bitty) class. That same aforementioned five bucks also allows you to stick around to watch the real show later in the evening. Including myself, there were 4 people who showed up for this past Sunday's class and, I have to say, I found it not only helpful, but extremely enjoyable as well. The best part of the night, though, was sticking around to watch the real comedians work...It'd been several years since I'd been to a real comedy club for real live comedy and man, was it fun...I have a feeling that I'm really going to look forward to Sundays from here on out...

So there's all that...For now...Just in case you kids were hoping for a little something more from me today, well...Sorry...I do have a new post up over at Collin's Spam-A-Palooza site which didn't turn out too bad...You could go and check that out if you'd like...And hey, don't forget - tomorrow is Awesomecast day!..Until then, kids, you all have a fine Tuesday...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, indignities, sports

Hey, kids! I'm up in Estes Park right now enjoying a deluxe hot tub suite right on the Fall river (you know, just for the Hell of it) and figured that I'd better get this thing posted while the extremely tempermental wireless eeenternet here at the condo/hotel is cooperating. This, of course, is the video of my most recent Freak Train performance from this past Monday. I may not be funny, but I have pyrotechnics, dammit...Enjoy:

As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a fine weekend now.

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train, vaunted videoblogs

Hey, holy crap, it's Tuesday already...it's amazing how time can get away from you when you have no structure to your day...Indeed, I have this week off from work (since the wife has it off as well...Spring Break, you see) and it's really altering my sense of time (and responsibility). I'm hoping that I can remember to return to work when the time that I am required to do so rolls around. Hell, I was really quite lucky to have remembered to make it up to Freak Train at the Bug Theater in denver last night...

And SPEAKING of Freak Train...

Last night was quite the milestone as everyone's old buddy Collin was able to overcome palpable stage fright (and substandard Italian food) and actually PERFORM! Live on the stage! I know, I know, you kids are probably all like "no way, fool, we don't believe this! That Collin fella' would NEVER perform!" To that I say "Watch this, bitches:"
headphones...That's all I'm sayin'...


Wasn't that awesome!? I'm so proud of Collin...Way to go...

Of course I performed last night as did Pat, but since I usually reserve the video of my own performance for display on Friday, I'll just finish this entry up with the (slightly disturbing) footage of Pat's performace...



So there's that...As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a fine Tuesday now...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, collin crap, Freak Train, vaunted videoblogs

Hey, kids! It's FRIDAY! Well, in truth, I'm kind of posting this on Thursday night...But what the heck, right? What's a few minutes here and there between friends? Anyhow, I'm posting the video of my standup comedy performance from Freak Train this past Monday. Is it funny? You decide...
the audio is easier to understand when you use headphones. I'm just sayin'...

so there's that...Big thanks to Pat Angello for operating the camera (and also for posting this same video on HIS blog like...On Tuesday). As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a great weekend...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train, vaunted videoblogs

Hey, kids, it's almost Monday as I'm typing this and, just so's you know, I'm having trouble getting to sleep...This lack of sleep thing is most likely due to the fact that I may have included a little too much caffeine in my diet today or maybe it's that the standup routine that I wrote for tomorrow's Freak train keeps traipsing through my fetid headmeats, leaving it's muddy footprints everywhere and refusing to hang it's coat on a hanger, like a civilized set of thoughts would...At any rate, I figured that if said headmeats were going to refuse to shut down, I might as well put them to good (HA!) use and bang out one of them blog posts that the kids (whomever THEY may be) seem to love so much. Ready? Good, here come the sentences...

***Update*** The egg on the face, it tastes...Like egg! It seems that "Submission Reviewer" is NOT affiliated with our local paper. It also would seem that I'm still somehow in the running for the whole reviewer thing at this point, provided I can make it to a specific location at 4pm this Friday...So in the long run, "SR" was just trying to make people sad by leaving scathing comments. WTF am I talking about here? Read on and find out...
Your Words, They Cut Like The Knife...
One of the people that I work with who also happens to have a blog (other than Collin and the lady-who-remains-nameless-even-though-we-all-go-for-lunch-'cause-she's-our-surrogate-Kathy) had a post on his blog last week in regards to our local paper holding a contest of sorts in order to find themselves a new dining critic seeing as their current (and soon to be former, if'n he ain't already) dining critic was (and this is seriously what they said) "looking to devote more time to his day job." What they wanted was for the unwashed masses to submit their own dining reviews so that they may be considered for the (lofty) position of part-time food critic at the ol' newspaper. Once I found out about this, I decided that, since I had more than a few "restaurant reviews" kicking around on the ol' blogsitething here (seriously, check the archives, I have tons of posts wherein I type about food, no wonder I'm so fat), I figured that I'd just use one of those as my "entry," choosing (foolishly) to use my review of Famous Dave's BBQ from when I was in Las Vegas a couple of years back...I figured "all I have to do is show a sample of my writing style as it pertains to food and they'll love me."

It's ok, you can stop chuckling...I've been wrong before, it ain't the first time...

Word to the wise: never use a blog post as an entry into a contest where actual journalist-types are judges. This blatant faux-pas will be seen as "half-assing" your entry (which...duh...It is) and the resultant comments which your submission will generate will be...Um..."less than kind." I know, I know, I didn't do myself any favors by choosing an old review of a chain restaurant which happens to be out of town. I also failed to focus on the "total dining experience" (you know, hours, prices, what the waitresses wear, shit like that) but...Well, I didn't give that any thought at the time. Anyhow, with the deadline for submissions having been this past Friday, I checked on Sunday to see if there had been any comments left on my entry and lo-and-behold, there had been. Of course, one was from a "shill" of sorts (my wife) and her comment was vaguely positive, which I liked...The comment which followed my wife's wasn't unkind either (the commenter called my review a "fun read" and then brought up valid points about my not describing the menu in enough detail). The next comment, though, illustrated the main problem with using an old review: there now happens to be a Famous Dave's location right here in town...I'm sure this commenter was thinking "why didn't you simply review the one IN TOWN, doofus? I wouldn't blame him (or her) if they had, it's a valid concern, but one that you kids already KNOW the reason behind...The next comment (where things start to go South, just so you know) hated, to the point of wanting to "barf" even, my gross overuse of the ellipses (you know, this shit: ... ). I can't really say anything to that outside of "sorry, that's just how I do things." I never claimed to know how to write but 'de ellipses, last time I checked, are a thoroughly acceptable way to denote a pause and...Well...I "pause" a lot, as you can probably tell by now...Anyhow, moving on to the next comment which was left by (dun dun DUNNN) the Submission Reviewer or "SR" (as I'm sure he (or she) is known to his (or her) friends). As you can likely imagine, SR did NOT like my little blog entry restaurant review one Goddamn bit. Outside of the valid complaints (I didn't go in depth enough, restaurant location isn't local, blah blah blah) SR was able to put in one of those Journalists-hate-blog-entries jabs by saying that "the writing was Junior High at best." SR follows up this slight by ignoring what he (or she) said just a sentence or two earlier about my choice of location and snidely recommended other BBQ restaurants in Las Vegas, including Memphis Championship which, ironically, I did review in another one of my (insipid) blog posts about Vegas...I just didn't send it in for this contest...

Before I move on from this, though, I feel the need to revisit SR's complaint about my writing: "Junior High at best." Down to the brass tacks, his (or her) comment means that even on my BEST day, which are few and far between, I can still muster up no more informative and descriptive power with my typin's than your average 8th grader. I see this as a bit of a disappointment...I had more on the end of this paragraph, but have removed it for the time being because I'm a total sellout.

Anyhow, I guess it's safe to say at this point that I won't be doing any paid dining reviews anytime soon (or ever). Of course, it's probably for the best as I barely have enough time in my week to foist my sub-sophomoric storytelling on you poor bastards (and bastardettes), let alone eat out all the time and get paid to type about it. On top of that, if I WERE a dining critic, I'd probably have to change my byline to H. Fatty Obesenstein...

Which leads me to another topic...

They Say The Camera Adds Ten Pounds...How Many Damn Cameras Were On Me, Anyway!?
I know I've mentioned before that, in my not-so-copious spare time, I've been officiating high school and middle school (see, it's not even called "Junior High" anymore) wrestling. As such, this past week, I was scheduled to be the JV referee at a dual meet which just happened to be one of the "televised" variety...When these sorts of things are televised, the cameras are only trained on the varsity mat which meant that I wasn't supposed to be "on camera" for any of the matches that I was scheduled to officiate. Anyhow, long story short(er), following weigh-ins, it was apparent that, of a possible 14 matches, the JV squads were only going to be able to muster 3 measly little matches for me to work over on the (lowly) JV mat. Because of this (the great JV match drought of ot-seven), once my matches concluded, I wandered over to the varsity mat to assist the varsity official. Now, in addition to me assisting him, the varsity official talked the varsity coaches into allowing me to officiate one varsity match just for the sake of expanding my experience. Anyhow, all of this led to my fat self being highly visible on the television broadcast of the event, which I was able to watch on friday evening. Now, before I go into detail about how grossly enormous I appeared to be on screen, I should ask you kids a question...Have you ever felt like "ok, I know I've put on a few pounds, but I don't look TOO bad" and then you end up seeing a picture of yourself or (God forbid) a video of yourself? If you have, then you know just how disparate your self-image and the image on the screen can be which was exactly the case when I saw the broadcast...I looked...Well, I looked like Godzilla AFTER eating Tokyo...Just a fat blob in black-and-white stripes and, to tell the truth, I was dumbfounded that I was able to move, let alone move so fast, pudge rolls a-jigglin'. Hell, with all of the fat hanging off of the extra fat (which, of course, was nestled close to fat I didn't even know I had), it appeared that I stood upright only through the workings of a miracle. Christ, I'm a circus freak...You want to talk about a quick way to become depressed...I was even starting to wonder, watching Fatty Fatterson play the role of me on the TV, if I would ever be able to fit into human-sized clothing again...

So I'm going to go back on a weight-loss program...I'll let you kids know how that goes...

And Speaking of "Half-Assing" Things (Oh, We Were)...
Later today (much later, actually) is the January Freak Train at the Bug Theatre in Denver. I mentioned at the very beginning of this already way-too-long post that I have a stand-up routine which I plan to unveil at said Freak Train running through my headmeats and preventing me from attaining sweet, peaceful slumber...The reason for this standup routine's forceful takeover of my brain is a simple one: I just got around to writing it. To be fair, I had SOME of the jokes written a couple month ago and I plan on doing a live version of one of my many audio entries which used to grace the pages of this sad little blogsitething on a semi-regular basis, so that's not terribly hard to memorize but...Well, the meat of the routine is all new...This, of course, means that I'm currently caught in the Hell of knowing that I need sleep but also knowing that I may get up on stage Monday night and completely space out what I'm supposed to say...Of course as you've probably already discerned, I'm trying to reconcile all of the aforementioned stress by typing up a shockingly long and pointless blog entry (this one). Since that is the case, though, I should probably mention that Justin Carmical plans on catching a ride with me up to the Train so that he can try out a standup routine which, if I remember right, he wrote in a fever dream. Should be lots of fun. I promise (HA! Look at me promising) that I'll bring my trusty video camera along in order to capture the moment for posterity...

So that should be that, kids...As always, thanks for stopping by. You all have a fine Monday now...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, get outta town, I eat food, lame stories, misguided rantings, sports

Hey, welcome to Friday! I know that I've been lax in my duties lately as far as the ol' Phrickin' Photoblog is concerned and, SURPRISE, today is really no different. Oh, sure, I could easily show you kids a whole new batch of pictures of me playing hockey (only slightly less interesting than dogs playing poker) but today is not the day for such things. Nay, today IS the day for me to show you the video record of my most recent Freak Train appearance, which happened this past Monday (the 25th) up at the Bug Theatre in Denver, CO. I'm not promising that you'll be entertained if you choose to view said video or that you'll even be able to hear what I'm saying (headphones work best, just a tip from me to you). I'm not particularly proud of this here standup routine (specifically because I screwed up and forgot a really good segment in the later portion). Regardless, since we all know that I possess no shame whatsoever, here is that video:

Big thanks go to Pat Angello for operating the camera. One of the reasons that I mostly sucked while doing THIS month's routine was that I was spending too much time rehearsing for NEXT month's (Halloween-themed) routine...So hopefully that turns out a lot better. Regardless, thanks for stopping by: you all have a great weekend!..

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train, religion, vaunted videoblogs

Indeed, I have a smallish favor to ask those of you who may come around here on a regular basis. See, utilizing that fledgling stand-up comedy video which I posted here for your collective shocked amazement not too long ago, I entered a "contest" of sorts on the MySpace.

Yes, one of the spaces on MySpace is mine. No, I'm not stalking your 14 year old.

Anyhow, right about here is where that "favor" comes in. See, I'm not one to have delusions of grandeur and I'm not one to ask too much of people BUT if it's not too much trouble, why don't you go here and vote for me by sending a message to that particular MySpace profile and saying that I'm, you know..."funny." Of course, if you find me painfully unfunny, I can accept that. Just don't tell Bruce Bruce that, deal?

Of course, to do any telling of anything in this situation, you'd have to be on the MySpace like I am. So if you're not, and it's not too much trouble, set up a MySpace account for yourself. I promise that, if you do, I won't stalk your 14 year old if you don't stalk mine...Thank you...

Labels: Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train

Lo, it is Friday and all is good. Ooh, also: it's the beginning of one of those "holiday" weekends, what with that "Labor Day" thing happening on Monday. Anyhow, just as I promised earlier in the week, I shall now display to you my fledgling effort at being "funny" on stage...It's not the whole act but...Well, I cut some out because I said some things that certain people might not be able to understand as "jokes" (and I don't mean I was racist, I called some people "assholes") but the rest...well, it's in there. I'd apologize for the first two minutes of the video, but I think the final two should more than make up for them. Anyhow, enjoy:
Hey: if you're like "under 18" or you're like..."my mom," don't watch the video. I "curse" AND "swear" in it. Thank you.

So there's that. I hope you all have a fine weekend now...Oh, and if you're wondering what the whole Pat Angello in a dress thing is about, go here and scroll down a few and find the one that says he's in a dress.

Labels: all those funny voices, Bad Stand-Up Comedy, Freak Train, religion, vaunted videoblogs