After weeks and weeks of anticipation (also: being on the "edge of my damn seat"), my DSL modem arrived today (finally). This is merely my opinion, but it simply took too long to get here...I ordered the stinkin' DSL package from Earthlink way back on...Damn, when DID I order it?

...checking...

I ordered it right at the same time that I ordered our new Emac, around November 1st, but Qwest forced delays and "such." If you're familiar with DSL service, you know that it runs through the regular ol' phone line, but the line has to be "activated" for things like that. If you're not familiar...Well, you are now...Either way, Qwest took it's sweet damned time allowing said line activation...

Bastards...

No matter, though...It's all set up now...

To tell the truth, I'm pretty excited to get home and fire it up...I don't think I'll know how to act with high speed internet at home...You mean I can play poker online AND talk on the phone!? AT THE SAME TIME!? SCANDALOUS!

Speaking of decorating for christmas (oh, we were), I spent part of last night out in near sub-zero temperatures setting up some rope lights on the front porch and also getting our 8-foot inflatable Santa inflated. Overall, it wasn't terribly challenging, it was just bitter cold ("wicked cold" for those of you on the east coast). Seeing that it represents my fledgling effort at decorating a house for a holiday, it's not a bad start...I can already forsee the hanging of icicle lights and other stuff this coming weekend. I figure I'll have to stop at Walmart and get me a staple gun...feh...

Now, It's all well and good to decorate, but I sure as Hell don't want this to become a whole big "Clark W. Griswold" type of thing...Frankly, I don't have that kind of patience AND I don't want to go broke paying the utility bill...Here's hoping I can keep it simple...

Well, kids, I need to get back to work...I also need to decide what I'm getting my wife for Christmas before it's too late to have anything shipped...I have a few things in mind, and I simply need to make a damn decision. One or the other, or the other thing, or that one thing, but not ALL of 'em, don't want to spoil her, right?

If you happen to be reading this AND you happen to be my wife, you can disregard that last sentence...You know that you're getting nothing but a lump of coal...You've been bad...BAD!..That is all...

I'm playing Christmas music here at work...Overall, I get real damn tired of most of the schlock that gets played on the radio this time of year, so I'm listening to some of MY favorites, like "Santa Came Home Drunk" by Clyde Lasley or Jingle Jangle by the Penguins. Right now, it's "Blue Christmas" by (the inimitable) Leon Redbone. You love Leon Redbone...Admit it...

Admit it, or I'll send him to your house...I mean it...I will...

Labels: holidays, lame stories, tales of triumph

On Thursday, seeing as we are now proud homeowners, my wife and I hosted Thanksgiving for the very first time. We were able to accommodate a total of 12 people in the house: myself, my wife, my mom, my dad, my uncle and aunt and their 2 kids, Collin, my sister and Collin's 2 kids. Despite the numbers, things seemed to roll rather smoothly and everyone seemed to enjoy the food which included (obviously) a 22lb turkey, which I had brined and roasted in accordance to an Alton Brown recipe, My dad's baked macaroni and cheese, his special sausage stuffing, potatoes prepared according to my wife's stepmom's recipe which includes cream cheese and green onions, My aunt's traditional brussels sprouts, some rolls and stuff and about 7 pies...

Oh yeah, and that cranberry stuff that comes in a can. My mom loves that stuff...

Seeing as we were hosting the event, it seemed that the responsibility of carving the turkey would fall upon me. I performed the duty in the kitchen, away from the others. Even though my "knife skills" aren't the best, I did an acceptable job for a short while, carving up the meat with all the skill of a serial killer. Soon, though, I lost patience with the whole processs and began simply ripping chunks of meat off of the bird and tossing them on the serving platter, also with all the skill of a serial killer. After that, and right about the time that dinner was to be served (2:00 pm), I began (skillfully) drinking (heavily). After dinner was over, full of booze and tryptophan, I passed out in a chair right about the same time that Collin passed out on the couch. Those that retained their consciousness played games of "Outburst" for a couple hours, which filled my chairbound dreams full of...well, "outbursts"...After some time, everyone packed up what they had brought and headed home. It was a decent Thanksgiving and I'm still (skillfully) living off of the leftovers...

Like I said, it was "decent." It may have even been borderline "good." It wasn't, however, "the Best Thanksgiving ever." THAT (dubious) honor goes to the Thanksgiving which occured in 2001. Before we get to the meal details, I should perform some ironic foreshadowing...Here it comes...

Due to the fact that it was the only time off from school that she would have to get it done, just a day or so prior to "big turkey day 2001," in preparation for braces (and other tortuous orthodontic work) my wife had all 4 of her (severely impacted) wisdom teeth removed from her head. This procedure was to be no ordinary dental operation, not by a long shot. These teeth of hers were SO impacted that she would have to be sedated (put under via "the gas") while they were extracted. Unfortunately, the procedure turned out to be SO tough that my wife "came to" during the whole thing and had to be restrained. This fact led to even more facial bruising and swelling than there would have been anyway. It also led to her being in a terribly weepy state. I remember the scene kind of like this when I was brought into the room following the surgery...

My wife: profound sadness and weeping
Me: What's going on here!?
Nurse: she came to during the procedure, the gas wore off...
Wife: I WO' UP AN' THEY...(weeping)
Me: (to the nurse) Did you get them all out?
Nurse: Yes, though the last one was tough. She won't be able to eat solid food for a week or two.
Me: Ok. Anything else I should know?
Wife: sadness and weeping
Nurse: Yes, the gas is a depressant, so the weepiness is commonplace when the patient comes out from under it. She could be this way for up to a week...
Me: UP TO A WEEK!? OH, HELL NO!
Wife: weep
Nurse: Stuff about gauze that I wasn't listening to because I was still preoccupied with that whole "week of weepiness" crap...

Armed with THAT knowledge, I took off toward the front counter to pay the bill while my wife helplessly staggered behind me, pinballing slowly off of walls and other stationary items...After the bill was settled, I loaded her in the truck, took her home, set her in bed and took off to Walgreens to get her prescription filled and also to pick her up the most appetizing baby food I could find, some pudding and some crossword puzzles. Also some earplugs, but those were for me...

Heh! I kid...For the most part. Ah-heh...Where were we?

Anyhoo, this particular Thanksgiving (the BEST EVER!) took place at my parents home. Heather's sister Shannon, who is a professional pastry chef, and my father, who is a decent wannabe chef, prepared all of the food. By the time my wife and I arrived, the whole place smelled wonderful. My wife, in contrast, with her giant swollen face and her painfully pained expression, appeared quite miserable. Kind of that whole "comedy/tragedy" thing. You know the one. Yeah, anyway, when the eating of the food began, it was quickly apparent that we were all suddenly right in the middle of "The Best Thanksgiving Ever." Everything was perfect! The turkey was succulent and flavorful, the stuffing was awesome, the potatoes were light and fluffy, even that cranberry stuff from the can tasted better than normal. Overall, everything at the table not only tasted great, it tasted better than it should have. I liked it all so much, I remember packing away 4ths, or possibly 5ths that day, and I wasn't alone...Everyone enjoyed the Hell out of the food that day. Everyone, of course, except for my wife, who was in so much (painful) pain she could barely enjoy the (light and fluffy) potatoes...

Seeing this, my mother, being the loving, caring, knife-twisting mother-in-law that she is, couldn't resist exclaiming how much she was enjoying the food. She looked right at my wife's giant, painfully swollen face, apologized to her and said through a mouthful of wonderfully flavorful food:

"This really IS to be the best Thanksgiving ever! It's REALLY too bad that you can't have any!"

Labels: holidays, indignities, lame stories

You know, I tried (hard) to finish that post about the rest of mine and my wife's anniversary weekend and realized that it's simply not that interesting. Ergo, I have nothing to share today, save for the following well-wishes (and cartoons)

Labels: cartoons n' stuff, holidays

Political bullshit follows in this post. If you're gonna read it, you might be offended. If you ARE offended by it, I warned you. This is my blog, I rule it with an iron fist. That said, read on, if you wish...

"Editor's" note...This is not one of the posts that I mentioned I was working on. It just happened to make me...Well, read on and find out...

Taken from an ABC News Original report titled "Some Say U.S. No Longer Feels Like Home," full text is here...

So, predictably, there are some whiny assholes out there who, because they didn't get their way during the recent presidential election, have donned the sackcloth and ashes (and begun the wailing and gnashing of teeth) and are ACTUALLY contemplating LEAVING THE COUNTRY because the U.S.A. "no longer feels like home."

Good, get out...

Whatever...It seems that It's always the same crap from people like this, gloat and celebrate if they win, but cry and whine and moan when they lose. Their statements reflect such things as "I can't live among people who are OBVIOUSLY so much STUPIDER than I thought...I mean, I KNEW that I was MENTALLY SUPERIOR, but HOW STUPID ARE YOU, AMERICA?" This venomous attitude is reflected well in the ABC report by Leora Dowling, a college professor, and her "husband." In the report, she spat the following words from her festering pie hole:

After the election, my husband and I asked ourselves, 'How could our country be heading backward? How could so many people miss or choose to ignore the obvious failures of the Bush administration?'"

Heading backward? What makes YOU, of all people, the "keeper of the steering wheel" for all of America? These two whiny liberal losers are planning to make a move to Italy where, apparently, people are more free and more intelligent than those of us who make up the unwashed masses in America. The pathetically fake show of sadness (also: despair) continues in the report with the following statement about the "couple":

...there is a broader concern. They say they feel the United States is changing in ways they do not like, and they feel powerless to stop it.

Newsflash, morons! DID YOU GET OUT AND VOTE? Hell, if you did, then you did the bare minimum. If you feel THAT strongly about how the country is doing, why don't you get off of your spotty liberal asses and try and effect social change? We still all have the first amendment on our side, no matter who we voted for, so quit wringing your damn hands, feeling sorry for yourself, lamenting about how "painfully stupid" the rest of America must be and GO DO SOMETHING! But noooo, your dumb asses are simply going to run away because, dammit, You and "America" don't get along anymore! Good riddance, get out. If you can't appreciate the freedom that living here affords you, you don't deserve it. I hope you have a lousy flight to wherever the Hell in Italy feels most like home...

The report drones on, too, giving way too much creedence to the following dimwit who's decided that he knows EXACTLY what's wrong with America...His name is Brian "putting the sin in" Sinicki. He lives (for now) in Laramie, Wyoming. He vomited out the following sentence for ABC's report:

"We were leaving anyhow, mostly because we want to start a family and we don't feel our children can get a decent education in the United States,"

So, where the Hell were YOU educated, Brian? And where you gonna go, buddy? Japan?

It gets better (worse), though...Brian goes on to say...

...America's schools fail children by not teaching subjects like philosophy and civics, subjects that he said would give Americans not only a deeper understanding of the world, but an appreciation for why they should be more actively involved in the political process, not only voting but staying informed...

What the FUCK!? Brian, perhaps YOU simply didn't pay attention in school, but they taught these things to me and, last I checked, they're STILL teaching these kinds of things. Granted, due to the fact that politicians, who have no business shaping education in the first place, have tied funding to standardized tests, things aren't ideal, but it's not the SCHOOL or the TEACHER who's "failing" your (obviously ADD) future child, it's YOU! What the Hell, Brian!? Do you figure that once your sperm has fertilized your wife's greasy egg, your job is done? Get over yourself, asshole. If you feel that your (future) child isn't getting enough out of school, it's probably got a significant amount to do with YOUR parenting skills and YOUR kid's attention span! Figure it out...

Finally, the report had this to say about ol' Brian:

He also criticized the media, and television in particular, for the way news is covered.

Well, holy crap...We actually agree on something. The media IS becoming more and more self absorbed everyday, not presenting news so much as presenting controversy simply for the sake of controversy, whether it's real, imagined or manufactured. In fact, I'm not sure that most major networks could tell the difference between "real news" and "sensationalism." Case in point?

This whole stupid report...

Labels: misguided rantings

But, because I KNOW that AT LEAST one person is still lurking out there...I'm currently working on TWO big posts (while working on things that actually pay the bills) and SOON...Soon, you will have new things to read...Promise...

Until then, here's a (drawing of a) skeleton "on the run," as it were:

RUN LIKE HELL, BONE BOY!..

Labels: cartoons n' stuff, random drawings, stagnation

So, I KNOW that I said I'd be telling you all thrilling tales of mine and my wife's anniversary weekend, AND I WILL...I SO will...For now, though, I'm gonna do up another ripoff post. I'm good at those, after all...Way back in March, I filled you all in on my initial attempt to "chat prank the chat prank master" that is JSP. The details are unimportant, but of course, this episode led to my having an extra AOL account that has a decidedly feminine appearance. I still have the account active because I can utilize its (free) FTP space to host the (goofy) images that I post here. From time to time, I need to log into that account so I can do various FTP related things...Last night was one of those "times..."

I've been absolutely stunned, to say the least, that simply having an AOL profile which says that a particular screenname is owned by a female will garner such attention...Case in point: I could probably log into AOL with my usual screenname and sit for days, of not weeks (maybe months), without someone whom I do not know contacting me via IM or email (cue crickets chirping). However, nearly AS SOON AS I AM LOGGED IN with the "feminine" screenname, I will be bombarded with instant messages from dumbasses whom I do not know from "Adam" (who, ironically enough, I don't know either). Last night, I received an IM when I logged in almost before I could blink and I thought "I should screw with this person a bit." I also decided to see how many IMs I could get going at once, so I quickly popped into, and out of, a random chatroom. I was able to successfully field about 9 or 10 instant messages during this "experiment." I will now share some of the conversations which I had with "America's most desperate men"...now...

Oh, and just because I'm not a TOTAL asshole, I've modified the screennames of my "victims." So don't go looking for these screenames online, they don't exist (that I know of)...Heh.

This kid was the first to contact me...I lost part of the initial conversation because I closed the chat window, but you'll get the idea of what HE'S looking for...
NewYorkMex (10:04:38 PM): so what are u up to tonight?
DarkBookGrrl (10:04:46 PM): wasting time
(...not a TOTAL lie...)
NewYorkMex (10:06:32 PM): I'm 18/m/nyc do u mind?
(...what kind of question is THAT? Is he asking if I'm Mary Kay Letourneau?..
DarkBookGrrl (10:06:56 PM): do you?
NewYorkMex (10:07:09 PM): no
NewYorkMex (10:07:30 PM): how old are u? if u don't mind me asking
DarkBookGrrl (10:08:08 PM): 30
NewYorkMex (10:08:29 PM): would u describe urself or do u have a pic?
DarkBookGrrl (10:09:19 PM): yeah, um...I'm too big for all of that. Aerial shots are all that we have...you know, satellite photography
NewYorkMex (10:10:02 PM): k
DarkBookGrrl (10:10:27 PM): just a GIANT FAT PERSON, dude. Big and fat. Just like you like 'em
DarkBookGrrl (10:11:15 PM): I'm kind of like that beanbag chair you have in your room.
DarkBookGrrl (10:11:23 PM): except I need to be fed now and then
DarkBookGrrl (10:15:21 PM): oh, cmon, not gonna run away from WHALE GIRL, are ya?
NewYorkMex (10:15:52 PM): no just think ur acting like this to be stupid so if u don't want to chat then u just have to say so.. sorry to bother u bye bye
DarkBookGrrl (10:16:47 PM): no...punctuation...can't....handle...it...
Nothin' special, just a warmup...Obviously, the kid wasn't into chasin' the chubby ones...Heh..."to be stupid." I love it...

Now THIS guy...Wow...Well, read on and you'll see why I changed HIS screenname to what I changed it to...
TOTALF'NPERV (10:05:20 PM): hi....how are you feeling tonight?
DarkBookGrrl (10:05:26 PM): shitty. You?
TOTALF'NPERV (10:06:00 PM): 46 M .Why shotty?
TOTALF'NPERV (10:06:07 PM): shitty*
DarkBookGrrl (10:06:10 PM): shitty. With an "I"
TOTALF'NPERV (10:06:19 PM): yes but why?
DarkBookGrrl (10:06:28 PM): no, with an "I," not "Y"
TOTALF'NPERV (10:06:58 PM): LOL...OK...can I make you feel any bettery? with a y?
DarkBookGrrl (10:07:10 PM): batteries
DarkBookGrrl (10:07:15 PM): what? weirdo.
TOTALF'NPERV (10:07:30 PM): actually, quite normal here
TOTALF'NPERV (10:07:44 PM): sometime weird, heck yeah
DarkBookGrrl (10:08:06 PM): HELL yeah...just say it
TOTALF'NPERV (10:08:22 PM): ok...may I ask your age?
DarkBookGrrl (10:08:54 PM): sure. go ahead
TOTALF'NPERV (10:09:01 PM): Are you a sexy over 30 Mom? Your age?
...That must've been the chat room that I popped into...Heh...
DarkBookGrrl (10:09:27 PM): no, 30
TOTALF'NPERV (10:09:59 PM): cool....what are you up for tonight? anything exciting?
DarkBookGrrl (10:10:45 PM): shit no! I'm up for about 30 more minutes and then it's lights out, bitch!
TOTALF'NPERV (10:11:16 PM): Wanna play for a half hour then before bed?
DarkBookGrrl (10:11:33 PM): play what, like hockey?
DarkBookGrrl (10:11:40 PM): xbox live, beeeatch?
TOTALF'NPERV (10:12:13 PM): Mmmmm...can be very relaxing....relieve ALL you tensions....
...All ME tensions? What the Hell?..
TOTALF'NPERV (10:12:31 PM): Ooohh...be you have a very FUN Xbox, sweetie
...OK, would that shit work on ANYONE? Seriously...I started to lose patience with him...
TOTALF'NPERV (10:12:38 PM): bet* you
DarkBookGrrl (10:13:13 PM): yes, and I can also...wait, Hell with it...You're pretty much a goofus, right?
TOTALF'NPERV (10:13:38 PM): Not really...just a regular nice guy actually
DarkBookGrrl (10:13:48 PM): yeaaaahhhhh...
TOTALF'NPERV (10:14:06 PM): maybe a little warped in the sense of humor and sex department
DarkBookGrrl (10:14:26 PM): maybe? C'mon, just be straight up. You're a pervert
TOTALF'NPERV (10:14:41 PM): But overall, ...certainly up for fun
TOTALF'NPERV (10:15:16 PM): WHAT??!!!....A pervert?.....I'm not just a member...I'm their PRESIDENT
DarkBookGrrl (10:15:30 PM): uh huh
TOTALF'NPERV (10:15:39 PM): At least, my member is....LOL.....
TOTALF'NPERV (10:15:59 PM): So what make you a "dark book girl?
TOTALF'NPERV (10:16:16 PM): what's the darkest book you;ve read?
DarkBookGrrl (10:16:20 PM): I was trying to pull a prank on "spooky art boi."
...Again, not a lie...
DarkBookGrrl (10:16:24 PM): do the "math."
TOTALF'NPERV (10:17:14 PM): I C ....can I be "haunting musicman"?
DarkBookGrrl (10:17:20 PM): taken.
TOTALF'NPERV (10:17:40 PM): eeiesoundguy?
DarkBookGrrl (10:17:57 PM): doesn't make sense
TOTALF'NPERV (10:18:01 PM): Lurid Lyric Lad?
DarkBookGrrl (10:18:13 PM): catchy, but no.
TOTALF'NPERV (10:18:19 PM): LOL....
TOTALF'NPERV (10:18:34 PM): what prank are you pulling?
TOTALF'NPERV (10:18:44 PM): and what's so bad about perverts?
DarkBookGrrl (10:19:02 PM): oh, it's over. I was "found out"
...This IS true...Remind me to tell you all about that...Is funny...
TOTALF'NPERV (10:19:20 PM): I am proud of my perverseness. if you will...
TOTALF'NPERV (10:19:39 PM): And if you will.....hell....I would TOO
...Dude, cut it out!..eww...
DarkBookGrrl (10:20:19 PM): you have, as the professional medicals say, "issues."
TOTALF'NPERV (10:20:39 PM): OK DB...if you say so....hope you have a fun night
DarkBookGrrl (10:20:57 PM): it's been awesome so far.
TOTALF'NPERV (10:21:16 PM): And if you'd really like a dark book....try Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar"
...Bound in only the darkest leather, I'm sure...
DarkBookGrrl (10:21:41 PM): uh...I'll jot that down, thanks.
...Didn't jot SHIT down, thanks...
TOTALF'NPERV (10:22:11 PM): k...enjoy yourself.....thanks for the chat
TOTALF'NPERV (10:22:15 PM): gnite now
DarkBookGrrl (10:22:22 PM): buh bye
...Whew. Glad THAT one's over...

...This guy was REALLY a desperate loser. I do admire his straightforwardness, though. I admire it to the point of only SLIGHTLY despising him for his complete (and total) loserness...
TonyBoots80 (10:03:30 PM): u cyber?
...Anyone ever tried THAT pickup line in a bar? Didn't think so...
DarkBookGrrl (10:04:05 PM): I'm human, not a robot.
TonyBoots80 (10:04:17 PM): i know
TonyBoots80 (10:04:24 PM): it was just a question
DarkBookGrrl (10:04:37 PM): no shit, sherlock
TonyBoots80 (10:04:41 PM): lol
TonyBoots80 (10:04:48 PM): no robot says that
DarkBookGrrl (10:05:09 PM): mine would
DarkBookGrrl (10:05:14 PM): over and over and over
...It would also be trained to shoot to kill, and to make taquitos, but that's another story...
TonyBoots80 (10:05:22 PM): then u be a funny bot
DarkBookGrrl (10:05:41 PM): funny? funnyy how?
DarkBookGrrl (10:05:47 PM): how am I funny to you?
TonyBoots80 (10:06:11 PM): u just are u just got all pissy with me and told me that u werent a robot
TonyBoots80 (10:06:24 PM): i can usually tell just by reading profiles
...Hell! We got ourselves a PROFILER here...
DarkBookGrrl (10:06:45 PM): you are perhaps psychic? like that Cleo?
TonyBoots80 (10:06:59 PM): no i never said that
TonyBoots80 (10:07:13 PM): see this is what i mean bout u ud be a funny robot
DarkBookGrrl (10:07:36 PM): this is mostly because I kick ass
TonyBoots80 (10:07:57 PM): im sure u can kick ass just not mine
DarkBookGrrl (10:08:19 PM): how about a wee stabbing?
TonyBoots80 (10:08:30 PM): hey now
DarkBookGrrl (10:08:30 PM): with a wee knife? weilded by a wee leprechaun?
TonyBoots80 (10:08:58 PM): becareful and u just might slapped with the wee
...OK, that just makes no sense...
DarkBookGrrl (10:09:44 PM): you wee on what?
TonyBoots80 (10:10:11 PM): i wee on what??
TonyBoots80 (10:11:29 PM): so
DarkBookGrrl (10:12:04 PM): sorry, I'm lying to perhaps 7 or 8 people here, not just you
...And THAT, kids, isn't even a lie...
TonyBoots80 (10:12:20 PM): i didnt ask u to lie to me
DarkBookGrrl (10:12:41 PM): it's a free service, dude
TonyBoots80 (10:12:47 PM): i didnt lie to u i was straight forward and right to the point
DarkBookGrrl (10:13:22 PM): yeah, well, I'm not
TonyBoots80 (10:13:43 PM): so ur a phony since u lie?
DarkBookGrrl (10:14:51 PM): no, I'm "keepin' it real." i just can't tell the truth. MUNCHAUSEN'S!
...I tried keeping things "krunk" once, too...It didn't work...
TonyBoots80 (10:15:17 PM): y cant u tell the truth
DarkBookGrrl (10:16:04 PM): ever tried it? it's not very much fun
TonyBoots80 (10:16:26 PM): yea i try it when i have to
DarkBookGrrl (10:17:12 PM): it'ss so overrated.
TonyBoots80 (10:17:31 PM): lol
TonyBoots80 (10:23:10 PM): so wanna cyber?
DarkBookGrrl (10:26:24 PM): wait, what?
TonyBoots80 (10:26:38 PM): so do u wanna cyber??
DarkBookGrrl (10:26:51 PM): are you selling cybers?
DarkBookGrrl (10:26:58 PM): what are they, are they cheap?
TonyBoots80 (10:27:52 PM): no i wanna cyber
DarkBookGrrl (10:28:04 PM): well, I don't have any...
...Yes, the conversation was mere "fluff" for him. All he wanted was someone...ANYONE to type to him in "sexy" tones. I'm sad for him now. Sad like how you'd point and laugh when someone falls and hurts themselves, THAT kind of sad...

...If you've stuck with this monotonous shit thus far, I'm glad. I'm NOT sorry, though, because a post like this fills up a SHITLOAD of space. One more to go, kids...Hang in there...
HyperLoser (10:03:35 PM): are you a hot girl?
DarkBookGrrl (10:03:56 PM): nah, it's not hot here
HyperLoser (10:04:05 PM): lol, where is here?
DarkBookGrrl (10:04:26 PM): you tell me
HyperLoser (10:04:34 PM): lol, i meant there
DarkBookGrrl (10:04:55 PM): where?
DarkBookGrrl (10:04:58 PM): here?
HyperLoser (10:05:02 PM): lol, yes
DarkBookGrrl (10:05:03 PM): holy shit, where AM I?
...a damn good question...Anyway...
HyperLoser (10:05:35 PM): lol, not here so i cant help you with that
DarkBookGrrl (10:05:56 PM): good.
HyperLoser (10:06:07 PM): aww thats not nice
DarkBookGrrl (10:06:19 PM): yes it is
HyperLoser (10:06:29 PM): lol, age?
DarkBookGrrl (10:07:20 PM): 30
HyperLoser (10:08:31 PM): are you single?
DarkBookGrrl (10:08:39 PM): I am the only one in the room
DarkBookGrrl (10:08:42 PM): wink wink
...nudge, nudge, grin, grin...
HyperLoser (10:09:02 PM): lol, i am 26
HyperLoser (10:09:28 PM): where are you from?
DarkBookGrrl (10:09:35 PM): right around here..
HyperLoser (10:10:49 PM): lol, so what do you do for fun?
DarkBookGrrl (10:10:57 PM): lie on IMs
...Which, like you already know, is NOT a lie...
HyperLoser (10:11:47 PM): are you any good at it?
DarkBookGrrl (10:12:22 PM): damn right. I'm lyingg to...8 or 9 people right now
HyperLoser (10:13:18 PM): lol, and how many do you think believe you?
DarkBookGrrl (10:13:27 PM): most
HyperLoser (10:13:47 PM): lol, do you think i am part of the magority?
HyperLoser (10:13:51 PM): majority
DarkBookGrrl (10:14:08 PM): we'll stick with magority...That'd be Irish, right?
HyperLoser (10:14:22 PM): lol, i have no idea, not what i am
DarkBookGrrl (10:14:58 PM): eh.
HyperLoser (10:15:19 PM): is that what nationality you are?
DarkBookGrrl (10:15:44 PM): gorsh no, I hate them Irish bastards. Always takin' me land
DarkBookGrrl (10:15:52 PM): oh, wait...that's the british
...Disclaimer: I actually have nothing against the Irish. I'm particularly fond of their national soap and I LOVE corned beef...
HyperLoser (10:16:14 PM): lol, pic?
DarkBookGrrl (10:17:01 PM): heh...no.
HyperLoser (10:17:11 PM): what do you look like?
DarkBookGrrl (10:17:47 PM): hoo, maybe I just copy and paste from the last time I was asked that, or do you wish for a whole new lie?
HyperLoser (10:18:10 PM): which ever you will enjoy more
...Truthfully, neither, but I soldier on...
DarkBookGrrl (10:18:40 PM): ok, dude, I'm fat. I'm like a whole couch. Comfy, but lumpy in the wrong places
DarkBookGrrl (10:18:46 PM): with brown hair.
DarkBookGrrl (10:18:50 PM): or is that dirt?
DarkBookGrrl (10:19:37 PM): so....hard...to...tell...
HyperLoser (10:19:48 PM): havent showered lately huh
DarkBookGrrl (10:19:57 PM): CAN'T FIT INSIDE SHOWER STALL!
DarkBookGrrl (10:20:00 PM): (sob)
HyperLoser (10:20:19 PM): or bend over to reach the garden hose right?
DarkBookGrrl (10:20:34 PM): garden hose?
DarkBookGrrl (10:20:46 PM): there's...there's a way for me to get "clean?"
HyperLoser (10:20:52 PM): lol, no room for a garden in front of the double wide?
DarkBookGrrl (10:21:15 PM): single wide, thanks. I'm not made of money, you know.
...That shit don't grow on trees, after all...
HyperLoser (10:21:31 PM): with a double wide door for entry
DarkBookGrrl (10:21:57 PM): no, see, I'm kinda stuck inside, thanks for reminding me
HyperLoser (10:21:58 PM): or is it a loading dock
DarkBookGrrl (10:22:05 PM): God, I wish...
HyperLoser (10:23:04 PM): can you at least get up and walk on your own, or will they have to remove a wall for the crane to move you?
DarkBookGrrl (10:23:28 PM): maybe if I get up enough momentum...I could just crash through, like motherfucking KOOLAID MAN!
DarkBookGrrl (10:23:34 PM): OH YEAH!
HyperLoser (10:23:55 PM): do you have anice pour spout like him too?
DarkBookGrrl (10:24:07 PM): um, no, I'm still all human.
HyperLoser (10:24:22 PM): damn that coulda been sexy
...OK, What the Hell? Does EVERYONE online have to be a loser pervert? I hope my brain doesn't whirr and clank like that...
DarkBookGrrl (10:24:41 PM): maybe I can buy a prosthetic...like on eebay
HyperLoser (10:25:17 PM): that sounds yummy
DarkBookGrrl (10:25:54 PM): no, PROSTETIC...not prostitute.
...ValuHo!..
HyperLoser (10:26:23 PM): oh i cant read so well, get that mixed up
DarkBookGrrl (10:26:37 PM): figured
HyperLoser (10:27:19 PM): no when you are that round it isnt called a figure
DarkBookGrrl (10:27:34 PM): say it with me..."sphere..."
HyperLoser (10:28:27 PM): so you call a couch the lazy boy right
DarkBookGrrl (10:28:48 PM): no that lazy motherfucker is in prison for robbing a 7-11
DarkBookGrrl (10:28:56 PM): OHHH, never mind...I get it...heh.
HyperLoser (10:29:35 PM): but he got caught for trying to steal the whole slurpee machine for you
DarkBookGrrl (10:29:53 PM): I don't like them Slurpees none.
DarkBookGrrl (10:29:59 PM): I like them TAQUITOS
...and I SO do...But not from 7-11...eck...
HyperLoser (10:30:25 PM): so a box per meal?
DarkBookGrrl (10:30:30 PM): huh?
DarkBookGrrl (10:30:41 PM): is that supposed to be "dirty talk?"
HyperLoser (10:31:08 PM): lol, no, well yeah, when was the last time you showered
DarkBookGrrl (10:31:34 PM): this morning. Seriously, I'm gonna go get this crap formatted for my website and go to bed. Thanks for playing...
...I was tired...Felt like ending this crap...
HyperLoser (10:31:46 PM): what kind of website?
...I still don't rightly know...
DarkBookGrrl (10:31:55 PM): one where I post chat pranks.
DarkBookGrrl (10:32:02 PM): kind....of...like...this one.
HyperLoser (10:32:15 PM): you dont use names do you?
...I know, I caved...
DarkBookGrrl (10:32:27 PM): nah.
DarkBookGrrl (10:32:35 PM): besides, you did good.
...kind of...
HyperLoser (10:32:38 PM): where are you really from?
DarkBookGrrl (10:32:44 PM): seriously?
HyperLoser (10:32:54 PM): yes
DarkBookGrrl (10:32:56 PM): I'm right behind you.
...I sincerely hope, that when he read my response, he glanced behind him...The thought of something like that would make my day...

And so there it is, folks...This is what happens when I log in to upload cartoons to my FTP. I hope, if you didn't enjoy it, you at least found it tolerable. Tolerable enough to come back...

Please, God, say that they'll come back...

Labels: chat pranks, lame stories

Did you miss me? At all? EVEN A LITTLE BIT? *sob*

Heh...Oh well...

I've had a good few days away from work and, by default, away from blogging for the most part...I shall, however, break my "blog silence" by filling you in on some of the details pertaining to the awesome anniversary meal my wife and I enjoyed at the Mona Lisa on Thursday night. As per the norm when one indulges in such decadent (and dare I say "sumptuous") fare, we felt like giant bloated pigs afterwards...It was, though, all very well worth it...For those of you not familiar with the Mona Lisa Fondue experience, I should probably fill you in on such things right...about...

now...

The Mona Lisa, by design, is pretty much a romantic-y couple-y restaurant...Oh, sure, there's the more casual "wine cellar" portion of the restaurant (which, curiously enough, is located DOWNSTAIRS of all places) where ANYONE can wander in off of the street with no reservation and have cheese or chocolate fondue with whatever wine they happen to want to slug down. In the main restaurant, though, it's all about making "reservations for romance"...Well, "romance" and a "metric buttload of damn good food"...The Mona Lisa's menu is dominated by the "fondue for two" choice which starts with a salad. In this case, you have your choice of a "garden" salad or a "caesar" salad...I made the mistake of ordering their "garden" salad my first time there...I order the caesar now because, in my opinion, "weeds and shit" a "garden" do not make. Luckily, the caesar salad is pretty good there at the Mona Lisa. Not a bad way to start off a meal...

Did I mention that the whole meal takes like two hours?..'Cause it does...

So, after you put away your salad (in your belly), your server totes out the appetizer fondue...THIS is what many people think of when they think "fondue," melted cheese with a bunch of bread, fruit and vegetable items to dip into said "cheese." At the Mona Lisa, there are always at least 3 different cheese choices for the appetizer fondue, with seasonal, or special, offerings thrown in as well. My personal favorite is the more traditional emmenthal and gryuere fondue, but this time we went with one of the "special" cheeses, traditional swiss cheeses blended with brie and topped with almonds...It was awesome...So much so, in fact, that we had our server bring us extra things to dip into the cheese pot...Can't go wasting a big bowl of melty, cheesy goodness, now can we?...

They'll do that, by the way, that whole "bringing more" thing...Another big plus of eating at a fondue place...

So then, after you've gorged yourself on bread and vegetables and such drowned in CHEESE, out comes your server with a little electric grill. This grill is brought out for one reason and one reason only...THE REASON IS MEAT!..The MEAT is your "main entree" at the Mona Lisa...Because I have a particular fondness for Buffalo and Ostrich meat, and my wife didn't care to NOT have it, we had the "wild game" platter...It's VERY good...For the MEAT entree, all of your MEAT is brought to the table uncooked, along with a selection of dipping sauces like plum sauce, chutney and horseradish...You then grill the MEAT to your liking (it's all in smaller, manageable chunks with the exception of the quail, which is pretty much whole...I make him do a little dance prior to grilling), dip it into a dipping sauce, eat and enjoy...ahh, MEAT!..

If, for some odd reason you're not full at this point, you CAN ask for more MEAT. Like before, if you ask for more, they'll bring it to you, just like good little evil fondue minions...Of course, having had more appetizer items than normal, my wife and I were already good and stuffed from the contents of one MEAT platter...Yes, one platter of MEAT was good enough for us that night...

We had to stay strong, though...We had to ninja-shift the contents of our already bulging bellies for one more course...After all, the "coup de grace" of all of fondue-dom was in sight...yes, kids, after the MEAT, it's the DESSERT FONDUE...

Knowing (from experience) that it "kicked ass," we chose the "flaming turtle" chocolate fondue which consists of milk chocolate, swirled with caramel and walnuts and flamed (at the table, no less) with 151 proof rum...Of course, you get a platter of cheesecake pieces, caramels, cookies, cakes and other (gut-busting) delights to dip into said vat of flaming chocolate sin...It's almost too much, even for a seasoned eater like myself...My wife and I did our best, despite the odds, and made it through MOST of the desserty items which were brought to our table...Even with our best effort, we just couldn't outdo Andy K. who, while in town for his wedding a few years back, put away an ENTIRE DESSERT FONDUE all by his damn self...IT WAS TRULY A SIGHT TO BEHOLD! To his credit, he HAD trained for it and had also NOT taken part in any of the other fondue courses prior to dessert...

The man had a goal...But back to our meal...

As they are apt to do, our server took a picture of us so that we could have a nice momento of our anniversary...She happened to snap said photo while I was in the middle of enjoying a caramel, so I was unable to fire up a good smile, or even a half-assed cockeyed look...I may post this "picture" if I find myself with absolutely nothing to post, but that's unlikely...It's really nothing to write home about, so there's that...After it was all said and done, and after leaving a decent tip for our server, we departed the Mona Lisa with distended bellies and love in our hearts...I highly recommend the Mona Lisa to anyone who finds themselves in the Colorado Springs area with money to burn and something to celebrate...It really is "somethin' else."

And that, kids, is just the START of our anniversary weekend...Coming up, I shall impart to you (thrilling) tales of minor league hockey and a major league bed and breakfast up in the northern part of Colorado...Stay tuned, amigos!..

Labels: holidays, I eat food, lame stories

I'm gonna be taking Thursday and Friday off of work, mostly because tomorrow is my 4th wedding anniversary (yay!), but also because I have so many vacation days here that, if I don't burn 'em, I could lose 'em...Anyhoo, what this means, in a nutshell, is that I probably WON'T be posting until Monday...

I know, you're "heartbroken," right?..

I say PROBABLY because I still MIGHT post...I've purchased a new Apple Emac which, when it arrives tomorrow, will give me control over Blogger at home and, as such. will allow me to do things that, until now, were flat out impossible. Things like "posting from home."

I know, I'm kind of behind the upgrade curve...Gimme a break...

Since you asked (you did), among the things that my wife and I will be doing for our anniversary are: eating at our favorite fondue restaurant, watching a professional hockey game live (something I've missed this season) and staying the night in a (hopefully) very upscale bed and breakfast. I only hope that the weather holds out and we can get to where we need to be...It's extremely windy today and the cold front is blowing in, bringing with it ice, snow and general nastiness. This is what I hear. We'll see how things pan out...

So, kids, thanks for stopping by...I'll "see you when I see you." Have a great weekend!

Labels: get outta town, holidays, lame stories

yesterday, as I answered all of the wonderful questions that I did answer, I happened to completely miss TWO WHOLE questions. This happened because the comments box doesn't automatically refresh...I didn't feel too terrible bad about this seeing as A) One question was from Collin, who already had a couple questions answered and B) The other was from Smart-Ass Sean who is currently on top in our fantasy football standings.

Still, though, I'm a "man of my word," and Collin's gettin' all "pushy" about 'em, so I will tackle said "late questions" now:

Collin wished for knowledge regarding such things:
How many taquitos does it take to equal internal happiness?
This is easy..."2," but this is providing that said pair of taquitos is found with two (2) cheese enchiladas, one (1) order of rice, one (1) order of beans and two (2) flour tortillas...Maybe a couple tortilla chips...And a diet Pepsi...

Sean passed this little query on:
Exactly how many times were you dropped on your head before I met you in the 5th grade? Why did you move BACK to Widefield when hell had vacancies?
I fell off of my bunkbed once...Hit my head there...Fell off of the front porch once...Hit my head there...Man, I can't COUNT that high! As to the second part of your "question..."

It's not like I'm living over where YOU used to live...

heh...

aaaaaand that's it! Again, thanks for participating everybody!

Labels: Done Got Tagged, I eat food, me roots

Well, folks, thanks for participating in my big time "ask the host questions and wait for the answers" post (now fortified with "stuff). It is now time for said answers to be revealed, as it were. Hang on, lady, we go for ride...

Andy K., who had the "honor" of the first question, wanted to know:
Did you find any print material that may have been written by me at Graham?
Some, yes. But you know that by now...

Diana, who's one of those "Math people," posed THIS query:
Is 1 a prime number?
One is the LONELIEST number, the loneliest since "two." I think that it would have to be aged for a certain period of time, or be from properly fed numerical stock, to be considered "prime." Hope that helps...


Collin asked THIS pointed question:
WHY do we still practice daylight savings time? Why don't we set our clocks forward a half hour next Spring and then leave it alone?
um...Because, dude. We can't become complacent and NOT screw with our clocks throughout the year. Besides, without such things, we wouldn't be able to make fun of forgetful people like so much clockwork...

Jack Had THIS to say:
A serious one. Well, more or less: Have you ever had any of your cartoons published? If the answer is yes, and you've already mentioned that in a past post, sorry about that shit, I can't read everything.
Yes, actually, I've illustrated 4 books, the first when I was still in high school. I've also done some freelance work for various websites and, since I work at an ad agency, some of my original cartoons are featured in various markets for stupid used car sales. Also: That "shit" is ok, I haven't read all of YOUR stuff either...

my sister Heather threw this out:
Who REALLY built the pyramids?
The Hebrews, under the oppressive (yet impressive) thumb of Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. That and some independent contractors from Atlantis.

Andy C Wanted (badly) to know:
Who actually follows the directions on the box and REHEATS pizza?
Well, not ME. I prefer pizza when it's sat out for a while and it's room temperature and the cheese is all hard. I can't imagine that pizza would be any good whatsoever when re-heated, but that's just me.

Monkey Had himself 4 big questions for me:
1) What is your favorite breakfast cereal? Cracklin' Oat Bran, affectionately known as "Super Colon Blow." To be fair, though, I don't eat cereal much if ever. If I DID, though, that'd be my favorite.
2) Who was the first girl you banged ? "Nicole," why, you know her?
3) What's on your computer desk right now - please tell EVERY object! I have a couple monitors and my G4 tower and stuff and things and I have a bat and an Invader Zim clock. Frankly, there's too much "stuff" to mention. I'm lazy. Sorry.
4) What is that noise? Probably you making your dog fart again...Sick bastard...heh.

Collin weighed in again with another GREAT frickin' question:
Why do people think you are older than me?
It's the "receding hair line," you giant leprechaun, shut up...

Andy K. threw another question my way that looked like this:
Why am I such a pain-in-the-ass?
I didn't realize that you were...Maybe we'll have to talk to Andrea about that...

Wendy, like Monkey, had 4 queries for me:
How many radio stations have you worked at? Which ones? What was the best? Worst? I have worked at 5 different stations, but I've worked at one of them 2 different times. KSPZ (oldies) was my first and current, KVUU (AC) I worked at for a whole week, KVOR and KTWK (newstalk) I did fill-in for talk shows and a special oldies show on Sunday mornings and KKFM (Classic Rock), which I was on for a while last year and the year before. The best: KVOR, the worst: KKFM.
Did you ever interview anyone "famous"? (local celebrities count) Not so much although I DID take a call from my mom live on KVOR one morning.
Who put the "ram" in the "ramalamadingdong"? That one guy. You know him.
Why can't you get off your ass and get your own taquitos? Too fat from too many taquitos! Actually, I CAN...and I do...

Ranta Lot posed this little question to me:
What do you think of those people who never, ever, watch sports of any kind?
Seriously, I worry about people like that. NO sports? Of ANY KIND? EVER? Man, isn't there something that these people can get excited about? ANYTHING? Even NASCAR or golf?..

damamadame offered up this little homage to the Zombies:
What's your name?
Who's your daddy?
Is he rich?
Is he rich like me?
Has he taken any time
To show you what you need to live?

Tell it to me slowly
I really want to know
Derek, Jess, not really, I would guess not, for the most part, but I learned a lot from television, too. Oh, wait...D-e-r-e-k....

A seemingly impatient Diana asked this on Friday afternoon:
When are you going to answer all these questions and why haven't you already?
I'm...Um...Answerin' 'em right now.

Vadergrrl wanted to know:
What do you define as cool? like fonzie cool, or i wanna fit in with the popular culture kinda cool?

just askin.

btw, i think your sister is hella cool. cooler than fozie too.
"Cool" to me is between 38° and 45°. Anything below that would be "cold," at the very least, and it starts to become "balmy" above that. I'm sure my sister appreciates you thinking that she's cool, by the way, but who IS this "Fozie" you speak of?..heh.

And speaking of my sister, Heather had YET MORE things to ask:
Why do people think you're older than ME? Beats the Hell out of me. I guess it's "because."
Why doesn't Badfinger get the credit they deserve? That has to do with modern radio programming being so formulaic and "safe." They get the credit that they deserve from the right people and, frankly, that's all we should really ask for...
Do you think the Broncos should trade Jake for Tim Couch? No, no and Hell no. Even if Jake had laid another egg this weekend, he would still be head and shoulders above Tim Couch who, if he's not currently, should be bagging groceries somewhere...

Tricia asked possibly the most profound question in the bunch:
Why does humidity make my hair frizz?
*sigh*, I didn't want to have to be the one to break this to you, Tricia, but you're white.

And finally, El Sid posed these questions two:
if you had theme music, would it be like "Rocky" theme music, or like "Terms of Endearment" theme music? Depends on the situation, really, but it's probably, more often than not, the 1812 overture complete with several cannons.
and where ARE your taquitos? They are, like always, at Rudy's Little Hideaway. They're good! You get them when you order a "Ray's Favorite."

And so that's it. Again, I should wish to thank all of you who participated in this. It made it fun to actually have questions to answer. We shall now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

Labels: cartoons n' stuff, Done Got Tagged, I eat food, me roots, pointless shit, radio stories, sports

I've mentioned before that I'm apt to completely rip off other people's ideas. Well, yay me, because today is NO DIFFERENT! I'm really just kind of basking in the pale glow of the 'lection results and haven't the time to be engaging, or even remotely funny, so I figured that, since all the cool kids are doin' it, I'd offer up the opportunity for YOU to ask ME some questions...I'm not gonna limit this thing to the first however many, nor am I going to limit the subject matter. However, since this IS my blog and, since I DO rule it with an IRON FIST (obey the fist!), I reserve the right to NOT answer any question(s) as I see fit...With that in mind, let's have some fun!...

Pose your queries to me (your humble host) in the comments...Answers will follow in a later entry...

Labels: blatant rip-offs, Done Got Tagged, pointless shit

Apologies to Ray for stealing his exclamation for my headline

And so, it's official. I listened to the Kerry concession speech on the radio whilst I drove to purchase my lunch from Wendy's...I will sum up the speech for you...now:

John Edwards: And without further ado, the man, John Kerry

crowd roars, gratuitous hugging and groping between Edwards and Kerry

John Kerry: We fought the good fight. I love America and I love you. I want to hug all of you. I want to nuzzle all of you. If I could take all of America to bed with me, and Teresa's money, I would.

crowd roars, one of the members of the crowd yells something supportive

John Kerry:I love youuuuuuuuu!

Crowd roars

John Kerry:We lost because there weren't enough votes to win Ohio. But I will still be fighting for you!

Crowd roars

John Kerry:My kids stayed up too late last night. By the way, I love you!

and that's about it...Frankly, I'm relieved that Kerry was not elected. What people have to realize is that, when we vote to elect our President, we are casting our vote for the individual who will be Commander in Chief of our armed forces. I can think of few individuals who deserve THAT title less than Senator Kerry. Indeed, George W. may not have been the best candidate possible, but we'll never see, in our lifetime, such a candidate. Politics is a dirty business, one that decent people stand little chance of succeeding in...

Remember, the sun rises regardless of who's in office. We'll all be ok, in fact we'll forget about this divisiveness in no time at all...

Labels: misguided rantings

as of 9:34 Mountain Time, CNN reported that Kerry has called President Bush to concede the election. This, apparently, was leaked by a White House Aide. I hope this is true as I've ALREADY done my "concession dance," which I can only break out once every 4 years. I didn't get to do the dance in 1996, so...I hope that it's true and I didn't waste it this time around...

Labels: pointless shit

Yes, that's my "I voted" sticker, scanned MERE MOMENTS before I slapped it on and began wearing it proudly...The line wasn't terribly long today, my total time was around 45 minutes from back of the line to casting my ballot...I'm just glad I'm done with it...NOW, I MUST WORK! heh...

Labels: tales of triumph

"...we just have to keep our minds on the straight and narrow..."
-Ben Roethlisberger, Quarterback, Pittsburgh Steelers following the Steelers' victory over the Patriots on Halloween
_______________________

apologies to Monkey for borrowing his format...
_______________________

Yes, as a fan's sign in the crowd at Pittsburgh read: "The Curse may be Reversed, but the Streak Looks Weak!" Indeed, the stinking Patriots' record streak of 20-some-odd victories (including playoffs, by the way) was snapped by Andy K's Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday in impressive fashion. Good thing, too...I hate that Tom Brady...
_______________________

Speaking of streaks (we were), you will notice that, for the next 24 hours, I am required to display the logo of the Rochester Americans (affectionately called the "Amerks") over the logo of the Hershey Bears in accordance with the rules of the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree. This is due to Hershey's devastating 5-1 loss to the Amerks over the weekend. I'm not convinced that GEBIV is even paying attention to the whole thing, but...There it is...
_______________________

So I spent a good portion of my weekend playing video games on my Playstation® 2, something that I really wish I had more time for. I started a season in NCAA Football 2003 (I know, I'm way behind) with the Air Force Falcons and also gave Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas some attention. I have to say that the crew at Rockstar Games really has outdone itself. Granted, living the "Thug Life" vicariously through a video game character is a wee bit depressing, but the gameplay has been significantly improved from Vice City. I've got my Gangsta' all "Loc'd out" and "Hard n' shit" 'cause we've been hitting the gym. Also, eating at various fast food restaurants and getting tattoos. Seriously, if you're familiar with the Grand Theft Auto game franchise and you don't already have San Andreas...Well...You're missing out...
_______________________

I also spent a portion of my weekend (Halloween night) playing hockey. In intermediate rec league hockey, you don't often have "rivalries" and "big games," but since I was playing against the team which now features Collin's brother Trevor in goal, there was some pride riding on this particular contest. Trevor, being a kid, did his requisite amount of trash talking, emboldened by the fact that his team finally won a game last week whereas my team hadn't won yet...Early on, the game looked as if it might be a close one, with my team leading 3-1 heading into the 2nd period. With a 10-1 lead heading into the 3rd, well...Things changed a bit...All I can say is that it's nice to win (12-1 final) and that Trevor has a lot of hockey ahead of him what with the high school season starting soon. With that in mind, It's ok to lose to an "old man" now and then...Especially when that "old man" is me...
_______________________

I'm starting to believe that, 2 years ago, when I said that Jake Plummer was not going to be the Broncos' saviour, I was right. Man, Jake, you suck...You made me lose in Fantasy Football, too, you prick!..
_______________________

We had a grand total of zero trick-or-treaters this Halloween. The fact that we had to leave for my hockey game at about 6:15 on Halloween night really made it inconvenient to decorate and to do all of the things that I would normally do for Halloween, including set up spooky lights, fog and music for the kids. As such, we left our porch light off. It's nice to live in a neighborhood where everyone follows the rules. We didn't even have anybody TRY to come up and say "trick or treat," even when I was in the garage with the light on loading my equipment. Next year, kids, things'll be different...I promise...
_______________________

Well, I've got lots of stinky work to attend to, so I should finish up right about here. Remember that today is "All Saints Day," which, since All Hallow's Eve is the one night of the year that the dead can rise from their grave, is the day that the dead walk the earth. The dead are gonna need a jacket here today, it's bitter cold out...Just be on the lookout for zombies and such today...That is all...

Labels: hockey stuff, holidays, lame stories, pointless shit, sports