Monday, November 08, 2004

You Wanna Know WHAT?.. 

Well, folks, thanks for participating in my big time "ask the host questions and wait for the answers" post (now fortified with "stuff). It is now time for said answers to be revealed, as it were. Hang on, lady, we go for ride...

Andy K., who had the "honor" of the first question, wanted to know:
Did you find any print material that may have been written by me at Graham?
Some, yes. But you know that by now...

Diana, who's one of those "Math people," posed THIS query:
Is 1 a prime number?
One is the LONELIEST number, the loneliest since "two." I think that it would have to be aged for a certain period of time, or be from properly fed numerical stock, to be considered "prime." Hope that helps...

Collin asked THIS pointed question:
WHY do we still practice daylight savings time? Why don't we set our clocks forward a half hour next Spring and then leave it alone?
um...Because, dude. We can't become complacent and NOT screw with our clocks throughout the year. Besides, without such things, we wouldn't be able to make fun of forgetful people like so much clockwork...

Jack Had THIS to say:
A serious one. Well, more or less: Have you ever had any of your cartoons published? If the answer is yes, and you've already mentioned that in a past post, sorry about that shit, I can't read everything.
Yes, actually, I've illustrated 4 books, the first when I was still in high school. I've also done some freelance work for various websites and, since I work at an ad agency, some of my original cartoons are featured in various markets for stupid used car sales. Also: That "shit" is ok, I haven't read all of YOUR stuff either...

my sister Heather threw this out:
Who REALLY built the pyramids?
The Hebrews, under the oppressive (yet impressive) thumb of Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. That and some independent contractors from Atlantis.

Andy C Wanted (badly) to know:
Who actually follows the directions on the box and REHEATS pizza?
Well, not ME. I prefer pizza when it's sat out for a while and it's room temperature and the cheese is all hard. I can't imagine that pizza would be any good whatsoever when re-heated, but that's just me.

Monkey Had himself 4 big questions for me:
1) What is your favorite breakfast cereal? Cracklin' Oat Bran, affectionately known as "Super Colon Blow." To be fair, though, I don't eat cereal much if ever. If I DID, though, that'd be my favorite.
2) Who was the first girl you banged ? "Nicole," why, you know her?
3) What's on your computer desk right now - please tell EVERY object! I have a couple monitors and my G4 tower and stuff and things and I have a bat and an Invader Zim clock. Frankly, there's too much "stuff" to mention. I'm lazy. Sorry.
4) What is that noise? Probably you making your dog fart again...Sick bastard...heh.

Collin weighed in again with another GREAT frickin' question:
Why do people think you are older than me?
It's the "receding hair line," you giant leprechaun, shut up...

Andy K. threw another question my way that looked like this:
Why am I such a pain-in-the-ass?
I didn't realize that you were...Maybe we'll have to talk to Andrea about that...

Wendy, like Monkey, had 4 queries for me:
How many radio stations have you worked at? Which ones? What was the best? Worst? I have worked at 5 different stations, but I've worked at one of them 2 different times. KSPZ (oldies) was my first and current, KVUU (AC) I worked at for a whole week, KVOR and KTWK (newstalk) I did fill-in for talk shows and a special oldies show on Sunday mornings and KKFM (Classic Rock), which I was on for a while last year and the year before. The best: KVOR, the worst: KKFM.
Did you ever interview anyone "famous"? (local celebrities count) Not so much although I DID take a call from my mom live on KVOR one morning.
Who put the "ram" in the "ramalamadingdong"? That one guy. You know him.
Why can't you get off your ass and get your own taquitos? Too fat from too many taquitos! Actually, I CAN...and I do...

Ranta Lot posed this little question to me:
What do you think of those people who never, ever, watch sports of any kind?
Seriously, I worry about people like that. NO sports? Of ANY KIND? EVER? Man, isn't there something that these people can get excited about? ANYTHING? Even NASCAR or golf?..

damamadame offered up this little homage to the Zombies:
What's your name?
Who's your daddy?
Is he rich?
Is he rich like me?
Has he taken any time
To show you what you need to live?

Tell it to me slowly
I really want to know

Derek, Jess, not really, I would guess not, for the most part, but I learned a lot from television, too. Oh, wait...D-e-r-e-k....

A seemingly impatient Diana asked this on Friday afternoon:
When are you going to answer all these questions and why haven't you already?
I'm...Um...Answerin' 'em right now.

Vadergrrl wanted to know:
What do you define as cool? like fonzie cool, or i wanna fit in with the popular culture kinda cool?

just askin.

btw, i think your sister is hella cool. cooler than fozie too.

"Cool" to me is between 38° and 45°. Anything below that would be "cold," at the very least, and it starts to become "balmy" above that. I'm sure my sister appreciates you thinking that she's cool, by the way, but who IS this "Fozie" you speak of?..heh.

And speaking of my sister, Heather had YET MORE things to ask:
Why do people think you're older than ME? Beats the Hell out of me. I guess it's "because."
Why doesn't Badfinger get the credit they deserve? That has to do with modern radio programming being so formulaic and "safe." They get the credit that they deserve from the right people and, frankly, that's all we should really ask for...
Do you think the Broncos should trade Jake for Tim Couch? No, no and Hell no. Even if Jake had laid another egg this weekend, he would still be head and shoulders above Tim Couch who, if he's not currently, should be bagging groceries somewhere...

Tricia asked possibly the most profound question in the bunch:
Why does humidity make my hair frizz?
*sigh*, I didn't want to have to be the one to break this to you, Tricia, but you're white.

And finally, El Sid posed these questions two:
if you had theme music, would it be like "Rocky" theme music, or like "Terms of Endearment" theme music? Depends on the situation, really, but it's probably, more often than not, the 1812 overture complete with several cannons.
and where ARE your taquitos? They are, like always, at Rudy's Little Hideaway. They're good! You get them when you order a "Ray's Favorite."

And so that's it. Again, I should wish to thank all of you who participated in this. It made it fun to actually have questions to answer. We shall now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

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