So, you've heard a Christmas or holiday-themed song that makes you wanna kill, right? Sure, we all have. Well, to ye I present a half hour of the worst of the worst. That's right, kids, it's the worst holiday songs of all time. Clicky to listen and (maybe not) enjoy...

Labels: audio, awesomecasts, mumbling about music, podcasts

Without the ability to get EVERYONE together (and I like it when it's EVERYONE) to record a new 'cast for you kids, I decided to whip up a music program for your listening enjoyment, the theme of which is "death songs." Why? Well, death songs make people feel good. Look, I don't know why it is, maybe it's lack of survivor's guilt or something, but if you don't just love a good death song, check your pulse...YOU may be the dead one...Well, enough of my hyperbole, here! You click and listen!

Labels: audio, awesomecasts, mumbling about music, podcasts

Despite my inability to put together a consistent run of podcasts (or even blog posts) over the course of the last few months, I'd be more than remiss if I missed All Hallows Eve. Even though we did some wonderful ghost story shows the last couple of years, Something I've always wanted to do within this medium is a music-oriented show. Given that I've got hours and hours of what I consider to be "Halloweeny" tunes, I said "what the Hell." So here it is-the Son of Cheese Half Hour Power Hour Halloween Spooktacular! clicky to listen...

Labels: awesomecasts, mumbling about music, podcasts

Hey there, kids! It's finally Thursday which means that, as long as the planets are still aligned and everything is the "hunky-dory," I should be posting my most recent Illustration Friday effort for your eyes to feast upon. This week's theme is "remember," one which I had a solid idea for as soon as I found out...Time, however, was not on my side this week and I had to kind of slap my illustration together at the last minute. Regardless, here it is...
clicky for the biggie

"Who are the Earls?" you may ask. "What do they have to do with the word 'remember'?" you may also ask. To those queries I would say "FOOL! Learn to Google!" That is all.

Labels: Illustrations, mumbling about music

This, being the third and final Invader Zim DVD release, is (in my opinion) the absolute best of the three. This could easily be due to the fact that I, personally, hadn't seen ANY of the episodes featured on this DVD in their entirety, mostly due to the ineptitude of Nickelodeon. That's right, you bastards, THE BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS! SCREW YOU, NICKELODEON!

*ahem*

Yes, yes, I hadn't seen any of the episodes, so they were all new (and, dare I say, "exciting") to me. I felt that they were all "good," with the exception of The Girl Who Cried Gnome, but even that episode had redeeming qualities. Frankly, my picking apart the individual episodes and lauding praise upon the DVD in it's entirety simply can't do it justice. However, I know that you are now SO INTRIGUED by what I've typed to this point that you have NO CHOICE but to purchase this disc. PURCHASE THE DISC! To sum up, The next time you venture out of your dwelling to purchase entertainment media (preferably at your local entertainment media shop), it would be wise to purchase Invader Zim Volume 3: Horrible Holiday Cheer mostly because I said so, but also because it's near completely awesome. I loved it, A+, yadda yadda yadda.

I also bought this recorded music album at the same time:

Before I start ripping this album to shreds, I should preface by admitting that I am a HUGE fan of Junior Brown. It's my opinion that he may well be one of the most talented guitarists EVER. His prowess with the unique hybrid "Guit-steel" boggles the mind, so much so, that if you see him perform live, you may have trouble believing what you see. Still, you will believe! Junior also possesses one of the richest baritone voices in the music industry, which lends itself well to his pseudo-honkytonk style. Frankly, in concert, he kicks more ass than...Well, a large, fast ass-kicking machine...With extra ass-kicking added after market...

That having been said, the album Down Home Chrome just isn't very good...

One of the things that I've always struggled with, being a Junior Brown fan, is that the quality of the writing on his songs is...Well..."Subpar." I'm of the opinion that corniness and puns only go so far, unless your goal REALLY IS to be a one-hit-wonder novelty artist or an underground artist with a cult following. I'm pretty sure that the ultimate goal is record sales and/or radio airplay...If so, this ain't gonna get it. The album, unfortunately, starts off weak and ends weak. Despite the fact that the guitar and melody on the first track, Little Rivi-Airhead, is fun and catchy, the writing is (again) weak which makes it hard for me to enjoy the song. It Hurts When I do That, which turns out to be a song about a lost pet, has few redeeming qualities (if any). Where Has All The Money Gone isn't terrible, but is quickly followed by Bridge Washed Out, which is another corny, crappy, poorly written song...Redemption for my ears FINALLY comes, however, at track 5, Hill Country Hot Rod Man. Here, the musicianship displayed by Junior is stellar and the song (even the writing) isn't half bad...

Unfortunately, this solid number is followed all too quickly by Jimmie Jones, which is not only the worst chunk of crap featured on this album, it may well be the single worst song ever recorded. By anyone. Anywhere. It's bad. It's corny. It's sappy. It's poorly written. It can offer no good reason for it's existence. It made my brain hurt because I listened to it all the way through. Unfortunately, things don't get much better from there, in fact the album has only one more bright spot at track 11, which is Junior's (awesome) version of the Jimi Hendrix classic Foxy Lady. The song has long been a live concert staple for Junior and also helps to demonstrate his impressive vocal range and guitar prowess. Hardcore Junior Brown fans should appreciate the fact that it's been recorded. This song rocks, but it (unfortunately) doesn't make up for the rest of this schlock-filled waste-of-space CD. Unless you're a hardcore Junior Brown fan, this album will only turn out to be a complete waste of your funds. Foxy Lady grade: A. Overall album grade (from a Junior Brown fan perspective): C-. Overall album grade: D-.

Labels: misguided rantings, mumbling about music, watchin' teevees

I love old music. I particularly love old, obscure music. As such, I've spent (roughly) the last 11 years amassing my CD collection, compiling a great stack of music, obscure and otherwise, which date from the 1930s all the way to "present day." I have in my possession some wonderful calypso music, a lot of fantastic blues and swing and (arguably) the largest collection of 50s, 60s and 70s rock, soul, funk, r & b, rockabilly, disco and jump blues anywhere. With this fact in mind, you can imagine my elation when I was contacted and asked to D.J. a 60th birthday party/reunion for a group of people who were described to me as "ardent fans of 50s and 60s music, especially doo-wop."

FINALLY!..Damn...

It's "gigs" like these which make suffering through wedding reception after lousy wedding reception seem (almost) worthwhile. Now I'd have the chance to unleash the deepest collection of "oldies" in the western hemisphere (mine) on a crowd who would truly appreciate it. The party was to be held at the home of the "birthday boy" which is located in Black Forest, Colorado and I was told that I'd be set up "out on the patio." For those of you unfamiliar with the geography of the Colorado Springs area, Black forest is a rather exclusive wooded area northeast of town. It's also (roughly) an hour drive (give or take, depending on traffic) from where I live (south of town). I expected that the place would be nice, most places in Black Forest are...When I got there, though, it was more than I could've expected. I was in complete awe. I was told that the property as a whole encompasses 40 acres. The main house is giant. The garage and attached workshop are larger than my whole house. The whole place has been thoughtfully landscaped and, true to form, their patio is no ordinary patio, it's terribly expansive. This place is easily the largest private home that I have ever had the occasion to visit...

Before I go much further with the story, though, I should fill you all in about the tradition of "name that tune" here at the agency where I work. Unless you're completely devoid of television, color or otherwise, you've probably been exposed, at one time or another, to the classic game show "Name That Tune." We play "name that tune" here, but my version of the game is not much like the old TV gameshow. It is, in fact, more of a "free-for-all" wherein I put my ITunes on shuffle, turn up my speakers and let fly with songs. The other members of the art department are then required to shout out artist and title. If they're right, they are allowed to glow with pride. If they're wrong, they feel burning burning shame (also: humiliation). Regardless, it's a whole Hell of a lot of fun. The game was significantly more organized during the "era of Andy," which (conveniently) was the period of time when Andy (whom you all know from comment-box fame) worked with us. The game became such a tradition that, around lunchtime, people from many different departments would gather in the art department for a scheduled round of name that tune. I would play 10 preselected songs and the players would write their answers on a "test sheet" which I would then grade. Highest score would win a prize, which was always a candy bar (I had a prize budget, even!) Andy won a lot of candy during the game. He is, to this day, the undisputed "name that tune" champion. After Andy was "sent away," though, the game, like our hearts, died. (without it's star player, what could we do? Let Scott win? I think not.) The game DOES pop up now and then, but it's a mere skeleton of it's former self...So sad...*sigh*

...ok, where was I?..Ah yes...

"What does "name that tune" have to do with the story," you ask? "EVERYTHING," I say! The partygoers were, in fact, SO RABID about "oldies" music, that the night ended up becoming nothing more than one big "name that tune" game for which I earned money. There were precious few songs I could play that SOMEONE wouldn't shout out the artist and title for. In fact, the few times I actually "stumped" them, they (collectively) gave me a look that said "ha ha! You crafty devil!" (which I am). Everyone there, except the few "younger folks" that didn't count, had a wonderful time. The music had them dancing, singing and reminiscing for hours. So many hours, in fact, that I stayed and played 2 hours past my scheduled end time. Near the conclusion of the night, the die-hards who remained simply arranged patio chairs in front of my table and shouted out "musical challenges" that, thanks to the song collecting fervor that took over my brain at age 19, were quickly answered to the oohs, ahhs and reminiscent stories of the crowd. I had finally found a group of people where, musically, I fit in, never mind that these people are all twice my age. They wouldn't let me leave and it was just as well, since I didn't feel like going anywhere...

I should mention, also, that I wouldn't have sounded nearly as impressive on Saturday night if it weren't for the roundabout help of a former D.J. called M. Dung. The Dungboy, as he calls himself, started in radio some years ago and, through his unique brand of showmanship and endearing on-air style (HELLO EYYYYE!), landed gigs in many major markets. For years, he and his "Sunday Night Idiot Show" were staples on the legendary KFOG 104.5 FM in San Francisco. Dung (real name "Mike Slavko") has since retired from commercial radio, disenchanted by the formulaic bullshit that now dominates American airwaves. (I feel that it's a great loss to have someone so obviously talented driven away from the business by what the business has become, but until I can purchase my own station, I can't really change it.) Anyhow, while his Idiot Show was still going strong, Dung collaborated with Rhino Records, who released a CD titled "M. Dung's Idiot Show Classics" (oh-dayyy!) It's a tight little collection of oldies music that, if you're a serious oldies collector, MUST be amongst your holdings. For your reference, it looks like this:
So anyway, during the party, I was approached by one of the more "learned" party goers who requested "Shake a Tailfeather" by the 5 Du-Tones. It seems that this particular version of the song (there's at least 3, by the way) was the one to hit big in St. Louis, which is where all of these folks were originally from. Well, thanks to the fact that I added the aforementioned CD to my collection some years back, I was able to "whip out" the 5 Du-Tones version and "save the day," as it were, to the delight of the crowd. It's strangely satisfying to see a group of 60 year old men and women absolutely "getting down." I bet they were pretty sore come Sunday morning. So thanks, Dungboy. I'm one appreciative "idiot" that wishes you were still on the air somewhere...

I believe that I made a good impression on these people overall. Good enough, hopefully, that I get called back to do more. Time will tell on that, but at least I got to have the "big fun" at least once..."Yoww," indeed...

Ah, I can't forget to share this...During the more informal "name that tune" session, it was requested that, for as long as I could, I play "tragedy" songs (wherein someone dies). I was delighted, seeing as these are tunes that rarely get played (some, for obvious reasons). I fired up the staples, ("Last Kiss" by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers and "Teen Angel" by Mark Dinning), got to play my personal favorite, ("Endless Sleep" by Jody Reynolds), and then, of course, there were the absolute crap songs ("Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro and "Tell Laura I Love Her.") These folks sang right along with every single song and shouted out for more. It made me feel warm and funny inside all at the same time. And, yeah, I got paid for all of this, to the tune of $500. Sometimes it's good just to be me, even though I didn't have "Ebony Eyes" like I thought I did...Ah well, for next time...

After all of this, including the fact that I played softball right before packing up and heading to the "gig," on Sunday morning I was pretty well beat. I rested most of the day and played hockey at 7:30 pm. The team, as a whole, played very well and we came away with a (rare) win, 4 to 2, over the "Moose Knuckles." I'm hoping that this success begets more success, losing all of the time sucks. Either way, hockey is fun...I can't lose sight of that...

As a postscript, I have a wedding reception (hopefully my last) to DJ this coming Saturday (as I mentioned last week). I'll let you all know if it goes OK, I'm expecting good things, but I now know that nothing will ever surpass the fun of the party on Saturday. If I could do gigs like that that every night of the week, I would, possibly for free (don't tell anyone). It'd make me the happiest DJ ever...

Labels: lame stories, mumbling about music, radio stories, tales of triumph

Today's going to be one of those days that just FLIES by, I can already feel it...We've got our company picnic this afternoon which means that, at around 1:00 pm, we're all going to head over to Bear Creek Park to take part in the three "Fs" (food fun and frolic). Being that it IS "Friday the 13th," I'm sure that SOMEONE will end up breaking their leg playing sand volleyball or a gaggle of rabid midgets will overrun our pavilion and steal our food. Ah, well...can't fight fate, right? Ah-heh...Anyway, since I have to prepare for "insurgent wee-folk," instead of writing anything worthwhile, I feel like (to steal a line from another blog) merely "pimpin' shit." At least for the first couple of paragraphs...Here we go...

I MUST let you wonderful people know that, against her will and without her knowledge, my mom now has a blog. The two goofballs, Heather and Collin, decided that they should just take that "big first step" and start one up for her. I contributed the title (Smarter by Myself), but disavow all knowldge of the "project" past that...As of now, on the page, there's not much to see. Still, if you're so inclined, you should head over and see it. I'm thinking that there may be more to see as time wears on. She does have a lot of interesting things to share, whether she likes it or not...

In addition to the above (exciting) news, I added some new "products" to the "store." I AM NOT TELLING YOU THIS SO YOU'LL BUY SOMETHING. Not in the slightest. My mentioning this is NOT a pathetic plea to perpetuate purchases (I don't make any money off of it anyhow. It IS free to maintain, so (in gambling terms) it's a "push.") but rather just a "go check it out and see what I've been doing instead of writing stories and recording and producing audio entries" thing. Granted, this stuff doesn't take THAT much time, but I AM trying to hold down a full time job, a part time job and prepare for "gigs," so...yeah...There's now a "karaoke is for losers" shirt available and (in honor of my Mother's new "blogger" status) a "smarter by myself" hooded sweatshirt. More products will surely follow seeing as I can always come up with more crap to slap on shirts (and such).

I have a 60th birthday party/reunion to D.J. tomorrow (way up) in Black Forest. The lady that hired me told me that I'd be playing 50's and 60's music, doo wop, r&b and the like. THANK GOD! THESE are the shows that I actually ENJOY doing! I hate DJing "weddings," mostly because schedules get out of whack and everyone's ALL tense and shit and I REALLY feel out of my element if I'm not playing 50s, 60s or 70s music. Being that it's not one of those things, tomorrow's show promises to be a "whole lot of fun" and I'm actually looking forward to doing it. I HAVE booked a wedding for NEXT Saturday, but it's not going to be so bad. It's for the daughter of Bill Sommer, a guy with whom I worked at the Gazette. He's an easy goin' kind of fella and (thankfully) so is his daughter. Well, his daughter ain't a fella...but..Oh, Hell, you know what I mean! This wedding reception promises to be rather loose and fun AND the bride told me that, since she and groom thought that "their music" wouldn't make the older folks happy, I COULD PLAY "OLDIES" MUSIC! Hot damn, Yay for me. I think, though, that this particular reception will be the LAST wedding reception I ever DJ. I've come to the conclusion that, if I'm going to mobile D.J. part time in addition to doing the radio part time and this art stuff full time, I'd be better off limiting myself to doing 50s, 60s and 70s music ONLY with the addition of karaoke. Anything outside of that, I'm simply going to turn down. It's not worth the hassle, frankly.

I spent a good portion of my evening last night making my (famous) "Secret Cookies" for the (aforementioned) company picnic. I've already given the other "artists" a "sneak cookie preview" and the reports I got have been "favorable." Hopefully everyone else in the building enjoys them as well...Also, those goddamn midgets better appreciate all of my hard work...Ah, well, I'll find out soon enough. Anyway, I must get some "stuff" done...I hope everyone has a good weekend. See you again on Monday...

Labels: I eat food, lame stories, mumbling about music, office supply aggression, radio stories