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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I Bought This, Watched It AND IT KICKED ASS... 

3rd Zim
This, being the third and final Invader Zim DVD release, is (in my opinion) the absolute best of the three. This could easily be due to the fact that I, personally, hadn't seen ANY of the episodes featured on this DVD in their entirety, mostly due to the ineptitude of Nickelodeon. That's right, you bastards, THE BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS! SCREW YOU, NICKELODEON!

*ahem*

Yes, yes, I hadn't seen any of the episodes, so they were all new (and, dare I say, "exciting") to me. I felt that they were all "good," with the exception of The Girl Who Cried Gnome, but even that episode had redeeming qualities. Frankly, my picking apart the individual episodes and lauding praise upon the DVD in it's entirety simply can't do it justice. However, I know that you are now SO INTRIGUED by what I've typed to this point that you have NO CHOICE but to purchase this disc. PURCHASE THE DISC! To sum up, The next time you venture out of your dwelling to purchase entertainment media (preferably at your local entertainment media shop), it would be wise to purchase Invader Zim Volume 3: Horrible Holiday Cheer mostly because I said so, but also because it's near completely awesome. I loved it, A+, yadda yadda yadda.

I also bought this recorded music album at the same time:
down home chrome
Before I start ripping this album to shreds, I should preface by admitting that I am a HUGE fan of Junior Brown. It's my opinion that he may well be one of the most talented guitarists EVER. His prowess with the unique hybrid "Guit-steel" boggles the mind, so much so, that if you see him perform live, you may have trouble believing what you see. Still, you will believe! Junior also possesses one of the richest baritone voices in the music industry, which lends itself well to his pseudo-honkytonk style. Frankly, in concert, he kicks more ass than...Well, a large, fast ass-kicking machine...With extra ass-kicking added after market...

That having been said, the album Down Home Chrome just isn't very good...

One of the things that I've always struggled with, being a Junior Brown fan, is that the quality of the writing on his songs is...Well..."Subpar." I'm of the opinion that corniness and puns only go so far, unless your goal REALLY IS to be a one-hit-wonder novelty artist or an underground artist with a cult following. I'm pretty sure that the ultimate goal is record sales and/or radio airplay...If so, this ain't gonna get it. The album, unfortunately, starts off weak and ends weak. Despite the fact that the guitar and melody on the first track, Little Rivi-Airhead, is fun and catchy, the writing is (again) weak which makes it hard for me to enjoy the song. It Hurts When I do That, which turns out to be a song about a lost pet, has few redeeming qualities (if any). Where Has All The Money Gone isn't terrible, but is quickly followed by Bridge Washed Out, which is another corny, crappy, poorly written song...Redemption for my ears FINALLY comes, however, at track 5, Hill Country Hot Rod Man. Here, the musicianship displayed by Junior is stellar and the song (even the writing) isn't half bad...

Unfortunately, this solid number is followed all too quickly by Jimmie Jones, which is not only the worst chunk of crap featured on this album, it may well be the single worst song ever recorded. By anyone. Anywhere. It's bad. It's corny. It's sappy. It's poorly written. It can offer no good reason for it's existence. It made my brain hurt because I listened to it all the way through. Unfortunately, things don't get much better from there, in fact the album has only one more bright spot at track 11, which is Junior's (awesome) version of the Jimi Hendrix classic Foxy Lady. The song has long been a live concert staple for Junior and also helps to demonstrate his impressive vocal range and guitar prowess. Hardcore Junior Brown fans should appreciate the fact that it's been recorded. This song rocks, but it (unfortunately) doesn't make up for the rest of this schlock-filled waste-of-space CD. Unless you're a hardcore Junior Brown fan, this album will only turn out to be a complete waste of your funds. Foxy Lady grade: A. Overall album grade (from a Junior Brown fan perspective): C-. Overall album grade: D-.

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