Monday, June 04, 2007

It's Interview Time!.. 

So one of the blogs which I read (see, they're on the left side, conveniently under the "I read 'em" header) on a regular basis (at least as much as she'll update) posted a little while back her responses to some interview questions which another blogger had come up with. This is not a new concept, of course, several of you out there have participated in this sort of thing in the past (including me) but, since I was feeling all "answery" and stuff, I responded to her request for interviewees. As such, here are my answers to Rayne's questions, which she actually sent to me like...Last week...She's quick, I'm slow but remember the motto over here: better late than never...Anyhow, ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!
queries are bold, answers are italicized

1. What is your most infamous hockey moment?
Ahh, yes, infamous hockey moments...While it would seem to people who really know me that the pool o' "infamous moments" should be too large to pick a clear winner from, I know the winning incident both well and from the front part of my brain...Back when I was playing inline hockey on a regular basis (we'll say that the year was 1997), there were regular pickup games at a place called Bosanova, which has since closed. These games were usually fun, even if they got a bit chippy. I would skate out (meaning not in goal) for the inline pickup with the "Widefield Line" which consisted of myself, Ryan, Darren (now deceased, sadly), and Justin. We would often skate against some of the better rink rats such as Shane and a guy named Dan Fulghum (who's brother, Luke, played at the University of Denver and, most recently, in the Maple Leafs farm system in the AHL). During one particularly hotly contested pickup game (I know, that sounds lame, but it's how it was), Dan lost his stick, probably due to my stealthy slashing prowess. Before he could pick up his stick, I knocked it up the floor, admittedly a violation of the rules, but what the heck, right? Anyhow, after I did this, Dan, in a misguided fit of rage, skated up behind me and punched me square in the back of my head in a vain attempt to knock me unconscious. While my helmet did fly off of my head and skitter up the floor, I wasn't even knocked down, let alone knocked out. Dan DID succeed in gaining my undivided attention with his fairy punch, however. Following his wee ambush, Dan quickly retreated and I followed, catching up to him in the sitting area. I then proceeded to knock him around some while he begged for the mercy and also while my then-girlfriend, now-wife tried her damnedest to intervene with little success. Following the incident, Dan and I were both told to leave the rink and not come back for two weeks.

2. You are an evil scientist. What incredibly fiendish experiment are you working on?
Yes! I AM an evil scientist! An evil scientist who (nearly) failed math class. As such, I'm currently working on a fiendishly capable calculator so that I can move on to my main experiment which is, of course, a genetically modified herd of (ferocious) unicorns which will do my bidding and no doubt destroy my enemies. Also, they'll be able to do light housecleaning, some chores in the backyard and possibly handle the grocery shopping. Have you ever tried to get around Wal*Mart on a frickin' weekend? Nearly impossible. UNICORN 17! Sharpen that horn, It's grocery shopping time!..

3. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do but haven't had a chance to do yet?
Gee. You know, that's a tough question. It's tough because I often just go out and do whatever it is that I want to do, with relative success...I guess that the only thing that I have yet to do which is also something that I would love to do is play in goal in a professional game. It doesn't have to be NHL, I'd take the UHL or the CHL, but I'd still like to appear in a professional game, just to see how I'd do. Since this is unlikely to happen, however, I should have a backup plan...So here: I'd like to design my own home and then have it built...Now you tell me, which is more attainable?

4. There's a tornado coming! What three things do you grab before diving for the basement and why?
A hardhat, blueprints and a backhoe because, surprise surprise, I ain't got no damn basement.

5. You have just been appointed America's new War Czar. Your first assignment: invade Canada. President Bush has decided they have just gotten too uppity lately what with all of that extra land, the picturesque moose running around and that weird habit they have of selling milk in bags. One catch, he wants to avoid the violent American image so no blood shed allowed. How do you do it?
They sell milk in bags? No way...That's FREAKY...

Anyway, invade and conquer America's hat without shedding a drop of blood? Hmmm...Well, I guess that we could threaten to return Celine Dion if they do not surrender peacefully...Them Canadians might give anything to keep that from happening...

Bonus Question:
6. Ducks - evolutionary triumph or good idea gone bad?

I have to go with 'good idea gone bad' for one reason: you'd think that they'd be good eatin' 'cause they're all feathery and such, but they're WAY greasy...What happened there? All I want is a nice Peking duck dinner and suddenly my rice is soaked in bird fat. You eat that shit, you're likely to sprout 3 or 4 pimples before the check comes. HEY, GOD! This bird is broken! I want my monies back!

So there you are, my answers to some obviously thoughtful questions courtesy of Rayne over at Crunchy Bits. As always, thanks for stopping by...You kids have a fine Monday now...

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