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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Who Gives Out These Awards, Anyway?.. 


So hey, with it being "Tuesday" all of a sudden, I got to thinkin' that I couldn't let the video of Wii Sports getting the best of my parents stay up for much longer. As such, I figure I'll quickly throw together some sentences and try and pass them off as a "blog post." Ready for the half-assin'? Rockin'. Here we go...

Nobody Likes To Be Called Stupid, Mr. Knight...
So I mentioned on last week's awesomecast episode that I joined the mob of "reviewers" (70-plus other "bloggers") across the way there at Bloglaughs . To be a reviewer at the site required no more qualifications than being able to send an email to the individual who runs it and once I had done that, I was suddenly "in." Sadly, the first blog which I had the opportunity to gang up on thoughtfully review was an "award-winning" blog that...well...Look, it was just horrible. I'm sure it appeals to someone (or many thousands of someones, to be exact) but it just didn't appeal to me...As such, even though I was as kind as I could be in my scoring and comments, my review turned out to be quite unkind. Now don't go getting the wrong idea, the review was not mine to do solo. Because of that, I figured that, just maybe, I could be alone in my abject repulsion for the blog in question (which I will not mention because I don't have time to be battling with the site's half-wit fans, I'm a busy man you see). When the review was unveiled on Monday, though, it was clear that the majority of the other reviewers (whom I do not know) felt mostly the same: the blog received one of the lowest scores of any of the sites reviewed by Bloglaughs so far. As soon as the review went up, the owner of the blog which was lampooned posted a link on her site so that her sheepy sheep minions could visit and call all of the reviewers "jealous fatties who hate pretty girls" in the comments. Now, we all know that I'm a fat motherfucker, I can't argue with that, but I'm not exactly sure where the jealous part comes in. That's neither here nor there, really...I can only imagine that if the review had come out as one of the "positive" variety, this chick would have likely either ignored it altogether or sent her minions to praise our collective and anonymous "coolness." Either way, it was a great way to start off with the Bloglaughs folks...I hope to God that future reviews won't be as painful to read as my first one...

Remember When I Said "I Don't Want Your Stupid Job Anyway?" Yeah, I Didn't Mean It...
Also last week, I mentioned that I had submitted a mock review for a contest which is designed to find the next food critic at our local paper. At press time (I love saying that), I guess I'm still in the running for said job, along with 24 or 25 other individuals. In phase one of the competition (the paper wanted to turn the process into a "reality show style competition"), all of the original submitters (about 50) were invited to an Italian restaurant not far from where Collin (and my parents, for that matter) live at 4pm this past Friday. As I've already revealed, about half of the original number of submitters showed (including myself). Upon arrival, we were all given a pair of those insipid Groucho glasses and instructed to "sit anywhere." At the appointed time, those of us that made it were given various foods to eat (including pizza) and instructed to write a short (75 words or less) synopsis of the restaurant. Even though it was a tall order for Captain Verbosity (that's me, by the way) to keep anything under 75 words, I done did it and even submitted my synopsis before the deadline. For now, I wait...I'll keep you kids posted as to how that all goes...At the very least, being involved in the process will allow me to compile some fun stories for later inclusion on this humble little blog-thing...

Yarr!..Do Ye Already Have A Life Insurance Policy, Matey?..
Hopefully you all had a chance to watch at least a little bit of the video of my parents playing that new-fangled Wii. This past Friday, after I was done with the eating of the foods and wearing of gag glasses, there was a "game night" held at my parents' place which my wife and I were happy to be part of. Luckily, we brought our video camera and set it up to record the hijinks which ensued during a spirited round of Curses, a 2002 Mensa Select game, which my mom recently picked up at some store in the mall. The game has you perform various tasks which sound simple enough (such as pretend to sell an insurance policy to the person sitting next to you) but the "curses" that befall you throughout the game are where the actual frivolity comes in. As an example, you may have to constantly speak in your best Irish accent or, if you were unlucky like me, bite the end of your tongue every time you speak (go ahead, try it, see how it feels and how you sound). Or slap yourself every time you draw a card. Or bow anytime someone claps. Regardless, it's a great game if you've got the right assemblage of bodies and, hopefully, it will have given me enough footage to pare down and post on some random Friday in the near future...

And Speaking of Collin...
...because we were, the little bastard "tagged" me for one of those "tell the world weird stuff about you" posts. Now, we all know of my near-legendary propensity to ignore "tags" (I know, I'm no fun at all) and I've already done a similar post so I'm not thinking I need to repeat it but...Well...We'll see...Don't forget, kids, tomorrow is awesomecast day so get them MP3 players primed and ready for another half-assed imitation of a radio show...As always, thanks for stopping by, you all have a fine Tuesday now...

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