Holy Crap, it's been nearly a week since I saw fit to post anything on this wee little blogsitething of mine. Sure, I could blame the recent Thanksgiving holiday (and it's resultant "days off") for such lapses in activity, but that would be...Well...No, actually, that's a great idea...Screw off, Thanksgiving! It's all your fault! Anyhow, how was your holiday? Mine was fine, thanks for asking...

...But was it the "best Thanksgiving ever?..
So this past Thursday we loaded up the Family Truckster (LIES! We loaded up our Saturn VUE) with goodies (LIES! We brought mostly food and a long table) and drove over the river (also: through the woods which are LIES! We drove up powers and then took a left on Constitution) to get to Grandma's house (MORE LIES! We went to Collin's house) where we all enjoyed many and varied dishes prepared with love by Collin and my sister Heather (LIES! While they provided the gathering space, the food was prepared by...well...Others). I have to say though, without lying, that the meal was quite good, Collin and Heather's place was comfortable and spacious enough to accommodate the numerous guests and if the Goddamned Broncos could've beat them stupid Chiefs, the day would've been damn near perfect. Thanks, Collin and Heather and dad and mom and Collin's mom and everyone else who brought food and/or did stuff...Happy Thanksgiving!

You People Go Ahead And Camp Out, I'm Going To Get Some Sleep...
So, as per usual, I didn't throw my hat into the proverbial "strengthen the national economy" ring on "Black Friday." Nay, instead of risking life and limb to attempt and snag phenomenal loss-leader bargains on the day after Thanksgiving, I stayed in bed, strengthening nothing more than my resolve to...well, stay in bed...Friday was actually a pretty unremarkable day filled with much laziness, television watching and, later on in the day, the playing of cards over at my parents' place. You'll be happy to know (no, you WILL) that my mom and I beat my wife and my dad at Euchre 2 to 1. Yay me!..

As A Matter of Fact, I DO Want "Some Of That," Thank You...
I think I've mentioned before that the wife and I believe that we have pretty good neighbors. Granted, the couple to the one side of us are terrible drivers, but they've never been anything but helpful and kind. The same, sadly, cannot be said for some of the people whom they have over sometimes. Case in point, this past Saturday, the wife and I were watching television in our front room trying to build up enough initiative to go and clean out our garage when we heard some dogs barking. "They sound like they're right out front," the wife remarked as she headed to the window. "Ok, they are," she informed me once she peeked outside. After hearing that, I myself stood up to get a look, hoping that said dogs weren't actually running about on my lawn. Thankfully they were merely sitting in the bed of a fairly large truck which was parked out front of our house. I'd seen this truck before and always assumed that it belonged to some relative of our neighbors. While I was looking at the dogs, a young man (presumably the owner of the truck) came out of our neighbor's house along with some other individuals whom I don't remember seeing before Saturday. While the kid got into his truck, the others (a couple who appeared to be in their 50s) got into a Jeep Wrangler parked near the truck in front of our neighbor's house. I continued to observe just in case the dogs did something amazingly stupid and, to my surprise, the couple in the Jeep DROVE ONTO MY FRONT LAWN so that the guy driving it could talk with the kid in the truck. Upon seeing this, I came out of my house and told the guy (in not the nicest tone) to "get the fuck off of my lawn." He grudgingly complied while his wife appeared panicked, making me wonder if he's done this sort of thing before, say when I wasn't home or paying as close of attention...Anyhow, with a parting shot of "are you retarded?" towards the guy, I went back into my house. Once inside, I continued to observe the two vehicles and, after a minute or so, the guy in the Jeep made some sort of gesture toward me (I was apparently visible from behind my screen door). He then stepped out of his vehicle, smacked his chest with both palms and screamed at me from the street "YOU WANT SOME OF THIS!?" Shocked (and slightly amused), I stepped out onto my porch and told him to get back in his vehicle. He insisted that he said that he was sorry and that I was an asshole for continuing to stare at him like I were stupid (his words). I asked him how he could be so inconsiderate as to drive up onto someone's front lawn to which he replied...some nonsense, I can't remember exactly...I continued to inform him that the best scenario for him would be to get back into his vehicle and stop looking to get knocked around. Finally, after much bluster and people telling him to shut up, he squeaked a final "fuck you" at me and got back into his Jeep. The kid in the truck, not really wanting to have to back up whomever this guy was, told me softly "we don't want any trouble." I reassured him by saying "I know, you're ok, he's the one with the problem." Soon after, the whole lot (including our neighbors, who had been quite alarmed by their friend's sudden outburst) piled into the two vehicles and sped off...Neither of them have come over to talk about it to this point and I doubt they will...

Something tells me we won't be exchanging Christmas cards this year...

Labels: collin crap, holidays, lame stories, sports, stagnation, tales of triumph