So yeah, since it's "Election Day," I voted before I came into work this morning. I can't say that the process was "out of the ordinary" at all (though it could have been) since, when faced with the choice of paper ballot and new-fangled touch screen voting, I went the way of tradition and chose (dun dun dun) a paper ballot. In retrospect, choosing touch screen might have got me in and out faster but it wouldn't have afforded me the joy of not only standing next to quite possibly the most foul-smelling person I've run across in a long time (I was really hoping people didn't think it was me) but also standing in line near a fat old man who apparently has all of the secrets for how to run the world locked away in his fat, old brain. "this is a dumb-ass way to run things" he kept saying as us paper balloters all waited for a booth to open up. He acted as if people cared what he thought (and I felt bad for the poor woman who was nearest to him, she kept doing the "um...uh huh....hmm" thing, likely hoping that the floor of the library at the school where we were voting would cave in right under this guy and swallow him up). Well, to be fair, she may not have been hoping that, but it would've made for a better story...Anyhow...

Here in Colorado, we had a few measures on the ballot, not the least of which were two separate initiatives which had to do with them gays gettin' all married up. One would've been a constitutional amendment (our state constitution, before you get all goofy on me) which would define marriage as "a union between one man and one woman." Now, while that suits ME and my wife just fine, I voted against this proposal because, let's face it, if it passes, it'll just send the state into litigation HELL for the next couple of years (and also we'll get called all sorts of names in the media). Well, that and it's pretty selfish to try and force our values and stuff on other people. But anyhow, the other was an initiative to make domestic partnerships valid in our county and to allow the county clerk to charge like...7 bucks for a "domestic partnership license." Clearly these two initiatives are in conflict with one another (it's like taking a true/false test where the questions are the same, just worded differently). I actually was planning on voting FOR this until I got to the polling place and read the full text of the initiative. I can't remember the exact verbiage which made me vote against it, but I did vote against it. Regardless, I voted and I even did one of those "write-in" things for the first time in my life, writing in our old buddy Collin for the U.S. House of Representatives. When I told him about this development, Collin said that he expects to finish "a distant third." I told him that a distant twelfth would be more realistic...I figure I'm not the only one who wrote someone in on that line...But anyway...

So yesterday evening was "test night" for us wrasslin' officials. If you've ever had to take a state test for officiating of any sport, you know that it's the kind of true/false test which I mentioned earlier. The trick to taking these tests is two-fold: read and understand the rule books for the sport you intend to officiate and then (duh) READ THE GODDAMNED QUESTIONS! I'm of the opinion that these questions don't so much test your grasp on the rules as they do your ability to memorize words in the rule book. Small differences in terminology make a huge difference in the answer on tests like these. Not to be a bragggart, but I must be pretty decent at the whole "rote memorization" thing...I scored 95 out of a possible 100 which ain't so bad...Next year, Goddammit, I'm goin' for the whole hundred...

But back to election day stuff...On the corner of a major intersection not far from where I work, for the past week (or more) there have been supporters of one of the candidates for...um...something (most likely a district I don't vote in) on the sidewalks and in the median waving their signs in support of said candidate (whom, I've been told, is nothing more than the political puppet of the recently defamed Pastor Ted Haggard). This particular morning, being that it was election day, these people were out in force, waving signs and waving at cars and such. Two of the supporters in particular appeared to be high school-aged males who were holding up poorly lettered signs which read "honk for (their candidate's name)." They were quite animated, making the traditional "honk the semi horn" motion when trucks passed and almost begging motorists stopped in the turn lane closest to them to show them a little love by tootin' their car horn, as it were. I was stopped at the light at this intersection just long enough to have the following thought come to mind: If there happened to be a vehicle which lost it's brakes barreling toward these two, blaring it's horn in the desperate hope that people would clear the way so it could subsequently crash into the back end of the convenience store on the corner there, would the two "honk if you love (candidate)" kids bail out, or would they smile and wave and pump their fists and give the thumbs up all the way to their most certain doom?

"hey, dude! Look! This guy REALLY likes our candidate!" (crash).

So anyhow, I think that's quite enough rambling for today. Don't forget that tomorrow is awesomecast day! As always, thanks for stopping by: you all have a fine Tuesday now...

Labels: indignities, lame stories, religion, sports, tales of triumph