Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Send Grandma Back To School... 

As an aside, before we begin: I've been "tagged" for one of those "meme" things by our old buddy Rocket Jones. It's one that will probably make for a decent post, so I AM working on it. For now, though, you get...other stuff...like this:

Chances are, if you're visiting this blog, you possess the ability to "read." Since this scenario IS highly likely, then it's also quite probable that you attended "school" of some sort at one point in your life. Due to this fact, you would then be able to (potentially) remember some of the very early textbooks and/or primers which you would have been exposed to in such an "educational setting." It is my intention to "make fun" of such things...now...

One of the first textbooks which I can remember utilizing to "further my knowledge" was a yellowish paperback titled Phonics Is Fun, which featured a bright yellow cover emblazoned with a picture of a hot-air balloon...I really don't know just why THIS particular book sticks out, mostly since I could already read by the time I got to "school," I don't truly remember getting much out of it. The book did, however, introduce me to certain themes which I later found would be prevalent in pretty much every other basic textbook I would be exposed to up until Junior High...To sum up, these books would always feature primary colors, which I assume was an attempt to appeal to the minds of the most basic of children. In addition to these texts' limited color palette, they would often feature bright, cheerful photographs, or half-assed illustrations, which I presume was another attempt to lure in the younger children, under the pretext of "fun" as opposed to the stagnancy that is "book learnin'." On top of that, these things always featured scenarios that were very foreign to me and my pale, suburban world: Characters with names like "Pablo" and "Maria" who would regularly buy things like apples from "street vendors" and then attempt to divvy up the spoils in a manner which forced you, the reader, to solve their friggin' urban problems for them. Look, Maria, it doesn't look like ol' Pablo wants to be equitable about these apples. Hey, you paid for your half and, since he doesn't feel that you deserve them, perhaps you should take a bat to his knees. That'll surely learn him, and good!

But I digress...

Just as our old buddy Collin has had the (enriching) opportunity to sift through the never-ending supply of really bad clipart which we have here at work and, subsequently, turn said bad clip-art into thought-provoking cartoons, I have the occasion (almost daily) to sift through our "stock photography," very little of which is even remotely up-to-date. Every now and then, I come across a photo which just screams "turn me into something sarcastic." Hey, who am I to ignore the voices, right? That said, I present to you my version of one of those crappy little textbooks which a very young student might be exposed to...You can click it, it gets bigger:

Grandma Never Learned Her Letters
So there you go...I'm not sure that this needs any further explanation, so...Enjoy!

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