You've no doubt seen the commercials on television, late-night or otherwise, for those "Invention Submission" places which promise that, if you'll merely send them information about YOUR idea or invention, they'll "help you market" said idea. Now, I've personally always been more than a little leery of companies like this. It seems to me that you'd have to be really friggin' desperate, extremely naive, or "both" to want to share the particulars of an invention that YOU came up with that could potentially make YOU rich with someone whom you only just met by watching a television commercial when you really should've just been in bed...That said, I've ever actually had the occasion to "invent" anything, I'm just sayin' that, if I did, I doubt that my first call would be to a bunch of hacks who are only allowed to advertise during the Late, Late Show...

Well, ok...They advertise during the daylight hours as well...But c'mon...

While I was recently in Las Vegas, I witnessed possibly a "metric shitload" of commercials for these inventor's idea submission outfits...In fact, it seemed that every third commercial had something to do with "patenting your invention" or "submitting your idea to industry." Of course, personal injury lawyers, bail bondsmen and seedy slot and keno joints were the main subjects of most of the OTHER advertising I remember seeing on television there...Comparatively, it didn't make the invention folks seem so bad...All of this, I assume, has to do with the "percentage of desperate people" in the las Vegas area...

After all, you have to know your audience...

Anyhow, at one point, Big Al asked me if I had given thought to making fun of the whole "invention submission" idea. My answer was a decisive "not yet," although, in truth, I hadn't really given any thought to the subject as a whole until he said something. After being immersed for a few days in the advertising for these seemingly benevolent corporations, though, I felt that I had no choice but to try with the "making fun." There is a "tweest," however, to my spoofing today...The "tweest" is, in fact, that I decided to do the spoof all "old timey" and stuff...Allow me to "set the stage"...The year: 1912...The scam: Ye Olde Inventor's Clearing House...The inventions: old...The people: Dead by now...You: implored to listen and (hopefully) enjoy...

Now, c'mon...Is that crap the "bee's knees" or what? You all have a fine Thursday now...

Labels: all those funny voices, audio, spoof commercials