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Monday, October 17, 2005

DENTIST!.. 

Listen, Dentist...I hate dentists...And I hate you so much that I'm not able to tell you how much I hate you in front of your WIFE!..
-Mickey Rooney as Dingy Bell (it's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World)


And, following a weekend that was simply chock full of sporting triumph, we've reached that not-so-magical day which the kids all call "Monday." You'll forgive me for not posting anything sooner, I had one of them "root canals" performed on a molar this morning by my brand new, yet extremely capable, dentist. I had to find this new dentist due to the simple fact that my old dentist (actually, "dental group," since my general dentist was apparently not skilled enough to perform any service in her office beyond taking gobs of my money) wanted to charge me $600 (U.S.) for the aforementioned root canal which I so desperately needed. When I questioned their reasoning for suddenly doubling the charge for such a procedure, I was not only lied to, but I was informed, basically, that I was "stupid" and also "lucky" to be paying such a "low" price...

So, not having an extra $600 to blow on a $350 procedure, I told the ever-so-complimentary lady at the other end of the phone that she was (potentially) "insane" and that I'm not really in the habit of being taken advantage of simply because I'm in pain. On top of that, I added that I would soon be looking for a new dentist. After calling my insurance provider and tossing around a few options, I chose my new dentist and had a brief conversation with them, asking up front if they would follow the fee schedule which my insurance provider sets. After they said that they would, in fact, only charge me what is on the list, I called up the bastards who wished to rob me blind and asked if I could please come in and pick up my chart...

Oddly enough, after attempting to pick my pocket during our earlier conversation, the bloodsuckers agreed to let me pick up my chart (x-rays included) at no charge...This morning, before I consulted with my new dentist, I was perusing my chart and was slightly shocked to find that, not only did my now ex-dentist's office document the aforementioned "last-straw" phone conversation from last week, but that the lady saw fit to write ON MY CHART that I told her to "fuck off" and that I refused to pay...

That's news to me...

I mean, really...If I'm going to "cuss someone out" (and, believe me, these people would've deserved it after the way that they'd jerked me around over the course of the last couple of weeks, swearing that they'd call me back and not calling back, losing my chart, eventually finding my chart at the wrong office, conspiring to overcharge me, etc.) I'm REALLY not going to do it over the phone. On the contrary, I'm gonna go and do it in person, preferably when other patients are present, just to get "more bang for my buck," so to speak. Sadly, I was as cordial and professional as I could be while they attempted to shaft me, but it seems now that, at least in the imagination of the lady who took my call last week, I'm into telling my health care representatives to "fuck off." This disappoints me, not because some random lady is lying about me, but because I DIDN'T tell her and the rest of that organization exactly where they could "stick it." Seriously, if I'm going to be regarded as an asshole, at least let me get there my own way. I guarantee that it'll be a lot more entertaining and colorful than some counter clown at a dentist's office can envision...

Anyway, to make a medium-length story short, my new dentist is pretty good. This new office can do just about every procedure which one could imagine in-house, without any pesky referral (and the higher fees which correspond to such). In addition, they stuck to my insurance provider's fee list (as promised) and, overall, they seem to have a good sense of humor. I know that it's not often that you hear from someone who's happy that they just got a root canal, but I sure as Hell am. Believe it or not, despite the procedure, I left that office today with a smile on the not-so-numb side of my face...Frankly, I'm happy to finally get this tooth taken care of and, at the same time, I'm happy that I didn't get completely ripped off...

Oh, yeah...I almost forgot: "fuck off," ex-dentist! Now it's official...

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