In regards to yesterday's "post" (if you could even classify that poor, pathetic little bastard child of a word-string as such), I ended up sounding perhaps a little more like Fred Sanford than Wolfman Jack in the "commercial" that I recorded...All in all, things could be worse, especially when you consider that we could potentially turn around and use something like a Sanfordesque voice-over for a sales event (conveniently) called "'De Big One."

Prices so low, you'll keel over from 'de shock!

Just so you're aware, when someone who pretty much fakes heart attacks for a living ends up shuffling off this mortal coil BECAUSE of an ACTUAL heart attack, there really is no statute of limitations on making fun of that...Speaking frankly, that's surely why ol' Redd's coronary turned out to be fatal...He did it so often, no one would help him...No one would get him an aspirin or call the paramedics, they were just playing along...
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(after 30 minutes or so)
Get up, Redd...C'mon, man, it ain't funny no mo'.

Man, he ain't moved in like...A while...

Shit, he's dead...

Well...I hate to say it, but it's kind of fitting.
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Anyway, I've been doing a pretty good job of avoiding actual "news" and even "current events" for about a week now, mostly because I "don't care," but I couldn't help noticing that some guy named "Karl Rove" is responsible for leaking...something...about someone...I guess there's a big "to-do" about it all, some folks got in "trouble" and there's that whole "goin' to prison" thing...At the risk of making myself look even more uninformed than usual, I'll admit that, until all of this went down, I didn't even know that there WAS a Karl Rove, let alone know that he was kind of a Poobah, if you will, within the political party which I usually support...

Shows you how involved I am...

Anyway, to correct my glaring oversight of daily newsworthy bullshit commenting and the like, I shall now weigh in with my opinion about this whole Karl Rove thing:

So, I couldn't help but notice that this Karl Rove guy has one of the biggest fucking block-shaped heads which I've ever seen. Seriously, IT'S LIKE SPUTNIK!..I mean, sure, the man resides just north of "chubby," but he's not "grossly obese." However, if you saw just a shot of this giant fucking melon that sits (menacingly) on top of his shoulders, you'd think that the man tops 500 pounds, devouring everything in his path like a remorseless eating machine...Oh, and he's got SQUINTY EYES! Squinty fucking eyes, this Rove guy...Unsettling, to say the least...squinty eyes and one big Goddamned head...No denying that...

Ahh, now I feel better...I figure that I can now join the ranks of those "news bloggers" that you hear about all the time on CNN...I'll be famous! I am SO READY to be named as a source...

Eh...Wait...No...

I just read further on the Wikipedia page about this Rove Fella' and found out that the President's nickname for him, among others, is "Turd Blossom." You read that right...The PRESIDENT calls him TURD blossom...

The President...Calls Karl Rove...Turd blossom...Nothing I said about his massive cranium can really top THAT, now can it?..Ok, moving on...

So I heard today, on the "radio" of all places, that this Hillary Clinton chick (is she a Senator for a state that she only recently moved to? I think so) has taken to comparing the aforementioned President to Alfred E. Neuman (what, me worry?)...OK, sure...Whatever you wanna do, Leona...Seriously, doesn't Mz. Rodham-Clinton remind you of the mean lady who lived down the street that would pay you only like a dollar to mow her lawn, or some other menial chore, all the while barking at you in raspy, booze-and-smoke enhanced tones, calling you names and burning you on the arm with her ever-present cigarette? Is it just me? Anyway, that's what she reminds me of...

Ok, kids, I'm off to do more of this "work" stuff, you have a stellar Tuesday...

Labels: lame stories, pointless shit