As I mentioned (in passing) sometime last week, I had been "tagged" by Rocket Jones (some time ago, now) for one of those meme-type posts that we are all so insanely fond of...Now, it's not that I've been blowin' in off, I really did try to get this thing taken care of in a timely fashion...Sadly, though, it was not to be...The reason is a simple one, which I will share with you now...Rocket's meme (the "meme in question") implored the "tagee" (among others, "me") to post, and subsequently elaborate upon, 5 things I miss from my childhood...

Sounds simple, right?..Yes, well...It's not...Not for me, at least...

What's my frickin' problem, you may ask? Well, kids, speaking frankly, I could probably just ramble nonstop, filling countless pages with crap which I DON'T miss about being a kid, but, when challenged, I couldn't readily come up with any more than 3 stupid things which I really, truly miss from that "magical" time known as "growin' up." Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't have a bad childhood by any stretch of the imagination...I guess that it was...well...Largely uneventful...That, or I just didn't pay enough attention...Thanks for being "forgettable," 1980s...

Anyhow, after a little "brain thinkin'," I did FINALLY fill out that "list o' five" with things that I truly can say that harbor a fondness for and that I REALLY TRULY cannot experience anymore, at least not with the same childlike perspective. I am ready to fulfill my "tagee responsibilities" and share my list with you all...now:

5 Things That I Miss From Childhood

1. Carnation breakfast bars - chocolate chip flavor
"Back in the day," there were these smallish, crispy, gritty, chocolate-coated, granolaesque chunks of absolute heaven known simply as "breakfast bars." These special little items were available in a few different flavors, but the chocolate chip was my personal favorite...These bars weren't overtly flavorful, in fact, I remember them as tasting "just right," with a nice, crumbly texture that went perfectly with a glass of milk...One of my favorite things to do with these bars was to painstakingly strip the thin chocolate coating off of the bar with my teeth, leaving just the crispy innards which I could then savor at my own pace...Ahh, the memories...It's probably just as well that they're off the market...Carnation would've probably repackaged them by now as "Carnation XTREME Energy bars," or some such crap, to appeal to a "younger market." Stupid bastards...Anyhow, I digress...

2. tie: Candilicious and Bonkers
Holy crapola, two (actually three) "food-related" items in a row!..Look, as far as "candy" goes, there have been no finer creations in all of confectiondom than the (painfully) sweet creations which I just mentioned. Both Candilicious and Bonkers were similar in that they were chewy, fruity-flavored (or the candy approximation of fruity-flavored) candy chunks which were aggressively marketed toward children...Bonkers had kind of a "two-pronged attack," if you will, with a "concentrated block of flavor" wrapped in a...more normal...ring of flavor...or somethin'...Anyway, they were pretty friggin' good...Watermelon was my favorite flavor, but all of the flavors were awesome...Now, with that in mind, think of Candilicious being mostly like the Bonkers "concentrated block" without the "normal" outer ring...That's right, nothing but a concentrated, sweet chunk of candy which was likely to put you into a diabetic coma just from breating the rush of "candy air" which would woosh out when you first opened the bag...I recall fondly when my then-friend Ryan and I finished off two bags of that friggin' candy while playing Mike Tyson's Punchout for the NES...I was SO high on the sugar that night...Oh man, I remember being sick for like...two days...Good times...
*While hunting for Candilicious and Bonkers links on the web, I came up with nothing...Well, after getting links to adult chatrooms and porn sites when I searched for "Candilicious," I figured that I should probably cut my losses and move on...Heh..."Candilicious."

3. the game shows Whew!, Press Your Luck and Tic Tac Dough, respectively.
All of the game shows I mentioned up there "kicked ass," but Whew! was easily the best...Ok, I can't tell you exactlly what the point of the show was, or how the contestants could win, or even what they could win...But, what I DO remember, was that, at the end of the game (lightning round, or what-have-you), the contestants had to answer questions. For every question they got right, they pulled down the arm of a movie monster statue-thing, like Mummy or Frankenstein. I liked it a whole lot probably because I was like...4 years old and there were a lot of colors...Come to think of it, I wonder if I actually miss this at all...Well, I can say that I DO miss Press Your Luck, mostly for the Whammies and I miss Tic Tac Dough for the VIC 20 dragon that would eat both your money and your soul for lunch if you uncovered it...Come to think of it, I think I just miss watching people fail...Miserably...At the hands of really crappy computer graphics...I guess I need more of that...

4. Space Center and Quarter Zone, et al
OK, look...When I was a kid, I was COMPLETELY FRICKIN' PREOCCUPIED with video games...I couldn't get enough of 'em...My favorite at the time was Dragon's Lair, even though I wasn't really any good at it..Regardless, I remember that I'd bug my mom incessantly to give me money and take me to the Quarter Zone, which was an arcade on Hancock...Of course, like I mentioned, video games cost "money" and, while we weren't destitute when I was a kid, we also weren't stinkin' rich...As such, trips to the arcade were a bit rare...Eventually, though, an arcade called the Space Center opened up, of all places, in Fountain, not far from where we lived...The best thing about THIS arcade? Instead of a quarter, ALL THE GAMES COST 5¢! And games like Dragon's Lair, which usually cost you TWO WHOLE QUARTERS, at the Space Center only cost 10¢ per play...While it lasted, the Space Center may as well of been Mecca for me...Oh man...Only a DIME to play Dragon's Lair...Surely, things couldn't have gotten any better...

5. The house that I grew up in...twice.
Hey, I was stuck for...stuff...To miss...About growin' up...
The house in question is a 1950s ranch-style on Hackberry street in Security. It sports 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, an eat-in kitchen, a formal dining room, a nice big backyard and, until recently, some very majestic trees...As a family, we lived in this particular house two separate times, for a total of 17 and a half years. The only problem with the whole scenario is that my parents never OWNED the place, it was always a rental. Despite that fact, the house was always home to me, so much so in fact that, even though I haven't actually resided at the Hackberry house since 1996, if I have a vivid dream where I'm inside a house, The house in question is the only house that ever materializes...Now, I realize that the old house just keeps getting older and that I'll most likely never own it myself, nor is it likely that I'll ever set foot in it again, but I've got a lot of memories invested there...I live close enough to it that I can walk or ride my bike past it whenever I please...Checking up on the house, so to speak...It almost makes me sad that "my house" isn't my house anymore, nor will it ever be again...Goodbye, house...I hope they treat you well.

And there you have it...There was some other stuff that I was supposed to do regarding "posting links" and "tagging other people" for this but, since I'm terrible at following directions, I'm gonna take a pass on all of that...You all have a fine Monday, now...

Labels: Done Got Tagged, lame stories, me roots