Monday, February 14, 2005

Quiz Theft 101... 

So, because I don't have any REAL content prepared for you today, I stole the following quiz from the inimitable (read: evil) El Sid. Now, I didn't answer ALL 48 questions like ol' whatsername, mostly because I didn't feel like it, but still, you may derive SOME entertainment from my answers. If you do, awesome. If not, well, I should have some actual "content" very soon. I promise...

on with the quiz!

1. Your name spelled backwards:
Thgink Kered...All of a sudden, I'm some Hindi "business man" sending spam emails filled with "opportunity." Also, "misspellings," but that's neither here nor there...

2. Where were your parents born?
Grand Junction, Colorado

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
"Ebony Eyes" by the Everly Brothers...It was the one "death song" I couldn't produce the last time I did a live oldies show...Shame on me for not being prepared.

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
At the present, it's probably a tie between Kohnami and Las Delicias.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
a few summers ago when my wife and I visited Florida. I'm not big on swimmin'...To tell the truth, I'm not big on Florida, either.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Yep. I played "boy" in the Pied Piper of Hamlin. I think that was 1st or 2nd grade...

7. How many kids do you want?

8. Type of music do you dislike most?
That overrated crap where the singer thinks WAY TOO HIGHLY of him or herself and the band gets way too much media attention despite the fact that they're average at best and that has a following of utter losers who believe that the music has got some secret message in it that only they can decode. You know, the music of U2. Oh yeah, and "smooth jazz."

9. Are you registered to vote?
of course.

10. Do you have cable?
Yes. I'm not sure I could live without it. I LOVE YOU, HISTORY CHANNEL!

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
once, briefly.

12. Ever prank call anybody?
uh, yeah...more times than I can count, in fact...

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Yes, when I lived in Denver.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
I'd have to be pushed.

15. Farthest place you ever traveled?
That would have to be Ontario, Canada...Actually, no...Geographically, I think it'd be Boston, Mass...Of course, both destinations were part of the same trip.

16. Do you have a garden?
Nah. Most plants die (screaming) at the very mention of my name...

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
All time: Calvin and Hobbes. Current: Get Fuzzy.

18. Do you really know all the words to the national anthem?
Yep. When I worked as a Public Address Announcer for a pro hockey team, I was always fearful that the singer would choke (not literally, smartass) and I'd have to "fill in." Luckily (for the spectators), that was never necessary.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower, morning. Night as well if I have a hockey game. Bath every now and then.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
The Ladykillers

21. Favorite pizza toppings?
canadian bacon and white onions. YOU HEAR THAT!? NOT "RED" ONIONS, you DIRTY PIZZA POLLUTING BASTARDS! WHITE! Heh...I also like ground beef and bacon...Chicken, too!

22. Chips or popcorn?
Popcorn...IS SO GOOD! I have a hot air popper.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
What the shit kind of a...OHHHH...This is a GIRLS quiz....Dammit...TOO LATE TO TURN BACK NOW!

26. Orange Juice or apple?
Both, but I love the natural apple cider stuff where the junk settles to the bottom and you have to shake it before you drink it and, if left in the fridge long enough, it'll ferment and taste all "good."

27. Favorite type of chocolate bar?

28 When was the last time you voted at the polls?
November, 2004. Red state, you dirty liberals! heh...Um...Sorry.

29. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
I couldn't say...Possibly "never."

30. Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes. It was from an "academic olympiad" in elementary school 'cause I was SOOOOOOO damned "smart." I also have a trophy for wrestling in junior high and another for being a part of the winning team in a recreational hockey league.

31. Are you a good cook?
bordering on Iron Chef, mofos.

32. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Who doesn't? I mean, seriously...FULL SERVICE IS LONG GONE, PEOPLE! I've been "pumping my own gas" for years, unless this is some dirty metaphor that I just don't get...

33. Ever order an item from an infomercial?
no, but both of my grandmothers have. Way...too...much.

34. Sprite or 7-up?
Sprite. goes well with rum OR whiskey.

35. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Yes, for one single solitary day when I was desperate enough to take a job at Taco Bell. After that one day of being a taco slave, I realized that there were people who needed the job even more than I did. I also realized that the job sucked and I didn't want it, so it was a win-win.

36. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Antibiotics. I think that's all I ever get at the pharmacy.

37. Ever throw up in public?
DAMN RIGHT! I was DEATHLY ILL one day when I resided in the lousy neighborhood called "Montbello" near Denver. I went to the 7-11 on the corner to get some juice and, when I went to pay, I started to feel extra "ill." As such, I asked the counter clown if she could "hurry up a bit," and explained that "I feel like I'm gonna thow up." The dirty bitch just sneered and began to complete the transaction EVEN SLOWER. I had little choice and, to teach her a lesson, I turned and projectile vomited all over the floor of the 7-11. You can bet that she hurried her insolent little ass up after THAT...Oh, and one time I threw up on the outside of a rival school's bus at a track meet in high school. No, I cannot puke on command, just so you know.

38. Would you prefer being a millionaire or to find true love?
Well, like Weird Al once sang: "if money can't buy happiness, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO RENT IT! (doo dee doo dee doo dee doo!)" Look, I have that "love" stuff, so can I just have the money too?

39. Do you believe in love at first sight?
eh, no. What I believe is that people are terribly shallow beings who regularly misuse the term "love" to get what they want...You are all bad! GO SIT IN THE CORNER!

40. Ever call a 1-900 number?
um...no...When I was a kid, they were "976" numbers...But I only called it to get the WWF tour schedule, honest!

41. Can exes be friends?
No, what're you, nuts?

42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
my dad, he recently required that a surgeon stab him...

43. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
um...I...I don't know.

44. What message is on your answering machine?
it's just me, stating the obvious ("can't take your call, blah blah")...I can't believe I haven' t gotten around to AT LEAST putting some music behind my voice or SOMETHING...Damn, it's lame...I'll have to fix that soon.

45. What is in your backpack?
First off, I'm almost 31 years old, but, yes, I DO carry a backpack to work. I just can't bring myself to carry a briefcase, it's so not "me"...Anyhoo, in it there's a lot of paperwork, my "real radio" headphones, my planbook, my checkbook, some DVDs and CDs and an Idaho Spud that I keep forgetting to give to my mom...She loves those things.

46. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
I don't have "routines." I guess..."Get all tired."

47. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
That I'm all "alive" and stuff.

48. What is the first concert you ever went to?
I hate to admit it, but I think it was Air Supply. STOP LAUGHING! In my defense, I was like...5...I was too young NOT to go...My mom and sister wanted to see them and they were performing at the state fair. To add insult to injury, we had to sit through the stinkin' rodeo before the concert. Talk about going from bad to worse...I was truly in Hell.

So that's it. A crappy quiz to fill space. Hey, happy Valentine's Day, kids!..

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