I remember back when I was a kid, and mind you this was AFTER that one week (or so) where I actually believed that Santa Claus was real, I would look forward to this "Christmas" holiday thing with the most eager of anticipation. Granted, Halloween was (and is) still my FAVORITE holiday, but Christmas was probably a close second, as it meant so many wonderful things when I was young. There were the spontaneous visits from UPS which I loved so much, the brown truck driven by the brown man, bearing (brown) gifts of all shapes and sizes (wrapped in brown paper) from all across the country. As well, there were the clandestine present shaking and rearranging excursions that my sister and I would embark upon. Of course, there were also the incessant attempts to convince my mother to let us open a present early, if only ONE single present ONE measly day early. If we had to perform even the most horridly menial tasks for the privilege of a sneak present peek, it all seemed worthwhile...

Hey, I feel like "getting sidetracked" right about here...Don't worry, though, we'll come back to this...

One year I got a BB gun for Christmas. No, it wasn't the Red Ryder Carbine Action somethin' somethin' range model air rifle (with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time), but it was good enough to shoot some cans off of sawhorses and (slowly) kill some grasshoppers. At the time, it may well have been the best Christmas present I had ever received. I still have it, though I don't do much shootin' with it anymore..ah, the memories...I need to buy some BBs...

My family was (and is) slightly cruel to one another regarding Christmas gifts. We used to do (fun) things, such as wrapping up the biggest box we could get our hands on. This box, of course, would be filled with packing materials. It would also contain, buried deep within said "materials," smaller and smaller boxes, much like those despicable Russian Nesting Dolls, so as to make the journey to one of those "real good presents" last for much longer than it should have. I remember one year, so as to fool my sister, we wrapped up a note which detailed where she could find one of her presents, rather than wrapping the present itself. If I remember right, this was so she wouldn't "guess what the present was" by "shaking" or "feeling" said package. Regardless of the motive, it worked. She was completely surprised by...Whatever the Hell she got...I can't remember...Also, before Christmas, my dad would always convince my mom that they shouldn't get anything for each other, only to turn around and spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on her. Mom never really did learn her lesson and always had the most presents to open. Dad, in turn, would lament the fact that he had so few...He's funny like that...

So, back to what I was saying earlier...

I had myself a "revelation" regarding Christmas presents this year. An "epiphany," of sorts, regarding my mother. I always knew that my father despised the fact that we would open all of our presents on Christmas Eve, after dinner. When he was a kid, he would tell us, he had to wait until Christmas Day. My mom countered that HER family tradition was to open the gifts on Christmas Eve, after a nice dinner. As such, us kids always sided with mom. After all, who likes to WAIT to open presents? As a concession to dad, though, we agreed that we wouldn't be able to peek into our stockings until Christmas day, a stipulation which my sister and I would circumvent by merely staying up past midnight, which was easy to do when you had so much new stuff to play with...Of course, there was the year where we were bad and didn't get stockings...I think that "year" stretched into 3, I'm not sure...We were pretty bad...Anyhow...

Man, I'm really getting sidetracked...OK, back to the "epiphany" stuff...Here it comes: I realize now that all of that "family tradition" stuff that my mom fed my dad was probably a load of what is commonly called "crap."

My mom loves presents. She loves to shake presents. She loves to look at presents. She loves to rearrange presents. Of course, more than all of that, she loves opening presents. All of this "opening presents on Christmas Eve" junk wasn't born of "tradition," it was born of plain old "impatience." Seriously, I now believe that mom would've opened the presents just as soon as they went under the tree if she thought she could get away with it, she's that impatient about the whole process. All of this came to light for me this year because, due to the fact that my wife and I were going to be out of town the week before Christmas, we brought all of the presents that we wrapped up to my parents house since we'd be opening them all there anyway. From the time mom saw the mound of gifts, an "assload" by some standards, she couldn't stop talking about them, touching them and generally drooling over them...She even rearranged them a couple of times while we were away, my dad told me.

All this time!..I had thought I was the one who was impatient about Christmas when I was a kid. Imagine how hard it was for HER while my sister and I were growing up, having to put on her "adult" persona and not become a goofy, giddy three year old as soon as presents went under the tree. I salute you, mom. It must've been awful...

I got a lot of very nice things for Christmas this year, including a $50 gift certificate to what I consider to be the best liquor store here in town. This was a gift from my parents who told me that they "didn't know what kind of alcohol to buy me." Granted, I don't remember ASKING for booze, but I will say that it's definitely the gift that will keep on giving (until, of course, whatever I end up buying is gone). I got my wife as many St. Louis Blues related items as I could and she, in turn, got me a new goalie bag, an item which I was definitely in need of. Of the gifts I purchased for other people, my favorite would have to be two personalized items which I got from my Cafepress store. One for my mom and one for my dad. In case you're wondering (and you know you are) they enjoyed them very much. At least they said they did...In keeping with the thoroughly random randomness of this post, I offer the following: I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, if you celebrate that sort of thing. Regardless, I hope everyone had a wonderful and bright holiday season!

By the way, I still get a little excited when I see a UPS truck. Too bad they don't stop by as often as I'd like...

Labels: holidays, lame stories, me roots