Monday, August 09, 2004

"This One's...For John!.." 

Well, ok, it's not ALL for John, but it's not every day that THE greatest quarterback to ever play the game is inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. As such, I can't possibly NOT say something about it...

John Elway was officially inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame on Sunday. There, I said something about it. You disagree that he was the greatest ever? Ok, that's your perspective. If that's the case, you must also have your head up your butt. John Elway was THE man. Not a man, THE man. John Elway was the finest quarterback to ever play on an NFL field. John Elway will always be, in my mind, the best quarterback ever.

Why am I so passionate about this? I dunno, maybe it makes me actually feel "old" now that someone whom I grew up watching play has entered the Hall of Fame. It's a unique feeling knowing that John Elway, who was a Denver Bronco his entire career, is now immortalized in the Hall. It's "extra neat" for me in particular because, having followed his career start to finish, I am now aware that, to have a Hall of Fame career, an athlete CAN STILL HAVE bad games here and there. I witnessed every single game that John Elway played, some of which I was able to experience "live and in person." I feel quite privileged to have been able to do so, I'm a very proud Denver Bronco fan and am also very proud that Elway has been ultimately recognized for his greatness. It was heartwarming to see the "sea of orange and blue," as it was described, at the induction ceremony. For John to get that kind of support in Ohio, where he was a hated man during his playing days, was "awesome" to say the least. I should've gone to Canton, dammit...Better yet, I should've sent my Mom, who has been an ardent supporter of the Broncos since the team's inception and also John Elway's biggest fan. She would've had a Hell of a time. Ray, who works here at the agency, went to the ceremony, but not so much for Elway, as much as it's just something that he and his family do every year. The Hall of Fame Game is tonight, by the way. It features the Denver Broncos -vs- the Washington Redskins and is the kickoff to the NFL preseason. As such, it may not be a terribly exciting game, but I'll be glued to the TV nonetheless.

So now that Elway is in, it'll hopefully break down the barriers that seem to have existed for enshrinement of other Denver Bronco Players. The Broncos have had some extremely talented football players on their roster through the years, but, as yet, none of them have been enshrined at Canton (until now). Is Elway the most deserving Bronco? Yes. Are there others that should be there with him? Of course. Should Elway have been the first? I say no.

Where's "Tombstone" Jackson? Where's Karl Mecklenburg? Where the Hell is Dennis Smith? Steve Watson? Louis Wright? Simon Fletcher? Randy Gradishar? Why is it that the "selection committee" turns a blind eye and a deaf ear to the accomplishments of the players who toiled in Denver for so many years? It's true that Denver teams, for so many years, were given little respect by the media in general. It seems that in the sports world (and in the mind of these asshole elitist sportswriters) Denver was always the sports equivalent of "flyover country." Hell, It took a Stanley Cup win from the Colorado Avalanche and back to back Superbowls from the Broncos for some of these jerks to finally take notice and give respect where it was due. I've seen the attitude about Denver through the eyes of the sports media change in the last 8 years and hopefully, now that Denver IS looked upon as more than just a "city with some sports teams," and now that Elway has been given HIS due, some of the past "wrongs" can start to be "righted" as they pertain to the great athletes that performed in the Mile High City for so long. Floyd Little should be in the Hall. Sammy Winder should be considered. Tom Jackson had a Hall of Fame career. There are countless others that I just don't have the time and space to mention...I sincerely hope that it happens. I hope that, in the lifetime of these players who are deserving, they are recognized for their accomplishments.

And now, on to other business. Some time ago, ("Chickle Treats of the Damned" - June 24, 2004), I went off on a tangent about "Uniquely Soothing Cherry Chill Eclipse Gum." I said that it was "shit," mostly because it was. Well, friends, I have come across a gum product that, not only IS NOT "shit," but actually doesn't engage in false advertising on the package! This little piece of chewable heaven is called "Carefree Koolerz® Lemonade" and it's packaging looks somewhat like this:

Note! This product is "new!" This product is also called "COOL REFRESHING SUGAR FREE GUM." Well, guess what kids, IT ACTUALLY IS! It contains some sort of voodoo magic that, once you pop the little individual piece into your mouth, starts to COOL YOUR MOUTH and, simultaneously, FILL IT WITH FLAVOR! It's nothing like the painful, mediciney experience of the Cherry Chill, oh no. This is actually like drinking ice cold lemonade. I don't know how they did it, but they did it. I had to share this with all of you. You will all now go to your local store and request as much of this product as they have in stock. You will do this because you are all good little minions. Thank you.

Ok, just as a closing statement. There are people out there who seem to figure that, if I'm not responding to their GODDAMN spam emails that choke my email inbox with their stupid advertising about mortgage quotes and penis enlargement procedures, then it's ok to now INSTANT MESSAGE this bullshit to me. I swear to God...If I ever find the dickheads who have the time to sit around and send me this stuff, I will give them a (very righteous) elbow to the esophagus. Again, thank you.

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