I'd REALLY love to post something "witty" today...I mean it! I'd like nothing more than to give you folks something worthwhile to read, but I can't...See, I'm currently under the influence of drugs (strong antibiotics) and, even though they're not SUPPOSED to, they tend to (slightly) alter my brain chemistry. The COOLEST thing is, I start to see things in slow motion while on the meds. This is great if I'm playing hockey (though we lost our playoff game last night 2-1) but can be really weird for blog posting...Or working...It's ok for driving and I'll be an AWESOME chess player for the next 8 days, but I'll be really goofed up otherwise. I figure, though, I should put SOMETHING up, so here goes:

I'm working on writing and, subsequently, recording a parody of "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, inspired by a post on the Monkey's blog. I HAVE the karaoke version of the song, so it'll be a quick trip to getting it recorded once It's written. Never fear, kids, I'll post it once it's finished. Even if (when) it sucks. I share because I care, people.

For lack of anything better, I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Rich, a very funny guy that Collin and I worked with at the Gazette. Rich is one of those people who is constantly cracking jokes and being "funny" (you know the type). some years ago, I decided that this "talent" of his would SURELY translate to radio...So once, with this in mind, I brought him on the air when I was performing host duties on a local talk radio program. I did this so that he could be his natural, funny self. I figured that I'd be able to bounce comments off of him, "witty banter" would ensue, people would call the show, we would then banter (wittily) with these "callers," the show would go well and everyone would have a good time.

What a stupid, off-base idea THAT turned out to be...

Predictably, once I turned the microphones on and we were "on the air," Rich turned to a less-than-witty clammed up stone thing. He was so absurdly fearful of the prospect of being heard by tens and tens of people out in radio land that he went from Funny, Witty Rich to Quiet, Stuttering Rich. This development would be less than helpful at ANY TIME, let alone doing a radio talk show. Imagine me, for an hour, chatting about current events with nobody but myself, while Rich uttered the occasional fearful squeak. It also didn't help that the phones lit up only about once every 20 minutes. I've been in worse situations in my broadcasting career, I'll admit, but not many. I learned a valuable lesson that day, however. That lesson? "Don't bring Rich to the radio station with you."

That having been said, Rich is still a cool guy. Granted, it's not like we maintain contact, he lives in Boston with his wife and son and I, well, do not...We did get together for dinner while my wife and I were touring the east coast last summer and had a great time. I really should call him to see what he's up to, but I probably won't. Not because I don't like him, It's mostly because I'm terrible at things like that.
"Hello..."
"Hey, Rich, it's Derek"
"Hey...how's it goin'?"
"pretty good..."
"that's good..."
long uncomfortable silence
"ok, um...Take care."
"bye."
Knowing that the possibility of Rich reading this entry is slim to none, I will share some photos of Rich with you. He left his vacation photos out on his desk once (not a smart move) and I scanned them for blackmail and other nefarious purposes. I will share two of these photos with you...now:

Man, I love the face that accompanies the accordian...Is it a prerequisite that you HAVE to be all goofy to play the accordian? I mean, c'mon. To me, it seems like you'd have to be some sort of super-human, left-brained, monkey-fingered individual...It seems so complicated!..I wonder if Rich ever really played it, or just brought it out for special occasions...The world may never know...


I'd like to think that this was a halloween thing, but I can't be so sure. Frankly, Rich is a strange man. This may well be his weekend outfit, or better yet, his casual friday workplace attire. Either way, I'm slightly disturbed by it...I hope you are too...

Well, kids, that should just about do it for today. I'm hoping to have that song done soon, along with some new audio entries...Maybe some ads. I've got a literal assload of stories "in progress..." We'll see how the medicine treats me this week...

Labels: hockey stuff, indignities, Phrickin' Photoblogs, sports, stagnation