It's kind of nice to come back from vacation, work one measly little day and then have a weekend. Obviously, it would have been EVEN MORE desirable to have just taken Friday off, but things didn't work that way. I had the Monday through Thursday scheduled off for a while and, somewhere between "then" and "now," Ray grabbed this last Friday as a vacation day. Sarah (our boss lady) doesn't like to have more than one person out at a time, so I didn't even bother to ask. Anyhoo, now that I've bored you all with insignificant details about work, I'm prepared to bore you EVEN MORE with insignificant details about my weekend...

Friday was SUPPOSED to be the date for BIG SOFTBALL SHOWDOWN 2 (now with 1/3 less sugar), wherein MY softball team (the B52s) would ONCE AGAIN square off with the Ad Monkeys, which is comprised mostly of those "people" that I work with. You may remember, if you are inclined to read this blog, the first meeting between these two teams from earlier in the season. The Ad Monkeys were primed and ready to receive their second (brutal) beatdown, but the weather was uncooperative (to say the least) and the game was cancelled. The sad fact is, it's been weeks since we've been able to actually play a game. Due the weather, we'll be "making up" almost half the season as long as the weather allows us to, which may not be likely. All the rain has been real helpful as far as my lawn's concerned, though...

Speaking of my lawn (we were), on Friday (before the game that never happened) I was out raking and edging and all of that just as it started to "sprinkle." I thought "ooh, rain, I..."

GIANT BLINDING FLASH ACCOMPANIED BY EAR-SPLITTING BOOOOOOM

It was one of those rare "movie lightning" moments wherein the lightning flashes, the thunder crashes and, immediately, the downpour begins. Without warning, I was in the middle of a monsoon. I feel pretty lucky to not have been turned into a large chunk of charcoal, seeing as the lightning couldn't have been more than a block away. I was more than happy to trade yardwork for the opportunity to watch this wonderful show from the back porch for a while...I really love thunderstorms...

Saturday, my wife and I went shopping and then went with my parents up to Parker to meet up with my aunt and uncle. We all then went up to Blackhawk, which is about an hour from Parker. In case you're not already familiar with it, Colorado has what is called "limited stakes gambling." This "gambling" is confined to 3 mountain towns that were big mining towns in the 1800s, Cripple Creek, Central City and (the aforementioned) Blackhawk. In the 1990s, It was feared that, with the dwindling interest and declining tourism, these little towns would just up and die. Enter limited stakes gaming. Slots, video poker and table games with a $5 limit were installed and they became an instant hit. I've been to Cripple Creek a number of times, but this was my first excursion to Blackhawk, which is more of a Denverite gambling destination. Just having been to Las Vegas, I still had my wad o' funds waiting to go into the bank, so I figured one more round of gambling couldn't hurt...I just didn't count on one very important fact...

Blackhawk sucks...

What you end up with is a whole ton of people making the drive from Denver (and surrounding communities) and maybe 5 casinos to go into, It's an absolute overload. Even if you DO end up finding a machine to play, there'll be 3 or 4 "lurkers" waiting around to grab your seat if you look even remotely done with it. I had one old lady actually shaking my chair while I was playing a nickel slot. I thought it was my mom, so I turned around only to come face-to-face with some old smokin' hag. What can you say in that situation other than "what the Hell are you doin', lady?" She waddled off for a while, but was back soon enough. Dirty bitch...

In addition to the capacity problems on the machines, you shouldn't even THINK about trying to sit in on a table game. On a Saturday evening, they're packed full with more people waiting behind every seat. Also, in conjunction with the $5 maximum, every single stupid table in Blackhawk sported a $5 MINIMUM. I really have to raise the "bullshit" flag on that one. This totally takes away a very important strategy from the player by preventing any sort of "money management." The casino effectively says to you "if you wish to play a table game, you will be playing at $5 per hand. No more, no less. You cannot play 1, 2, 3, or 4 dollars per hand, we won't let you. You cannot play 6 or 7 dollars per hand, the state won't let you. If you want to play, it's $5. Take it or leave it." I left it. It may be different during the week, but I'll be damned if I go and find out. In fact, I've pretty much decided that I'm done gambling in the state of Colorado. It's just no fun.

There were SOME positives about the little trip into the mountains, though...The buffet we ate at in the Isle of Capri was really very good. I also came out ahead from playing video poker...My wife didn't continue her "Vegas streak," in fact she lost just about as much as I won, so we have to call the whole night a "push."

Sunday was a day to sleep in and do as little as possible. I did have my first hockey game of the new season on Sunday evening, which turned into a brawl. that's always fun to watch. We lost, though, which is never fun. Frankly, I blame the officials for letting the game getting out of hand. I personally wasn't involved in the "brawl" in the 3rd period, but in the second period, I had agitated #16 on the opposing team to the point of his elbowing me in the head...Right about here, I'm going to share a helpful hint with all you boys and girls out there in readerland. If you're going to elbow someone in the head, don't do it if you're not going to be able to make a quick getaway. You'll only end up getting hit with a straight left to the side of your own head, much like #16. You'll then get smacked around some by members of the opposing team AND THEN have to sit in the penalty box (feeling shame). All in all, it's not a good idea to elbow the goalie in the head, whether he calls you a name or not. Frankly, if you get called a derogatory name, you probably deserved it. Take it and shut up. Just a tip from me to you...

And so, back at work on Monday, we've come full circle. It's been a pleasure to have you all accompany me on this little ride around my weekend, Once we've slowed to a stop, please exit the left side of the car. On your way out, be sure to visit the gift shop where souvenirs of your adventure are always available. See you all again very soon!

Labels: get outta town, indignities, lame stories, office supply aggression, sports