Yes, kids, just like the shirt says, I'm a WINNER, dammit! Pat And Jello SAYS so...As such, in honor of my..."honor"...and because (durh) IT'S FRIDAY, we're going to have ourselves a very special Phrickin' Photoblog Phriday. Oh yes, today's Photoblog chronicles "Accomplishments through the Ages" (or, at the very least, some crap that I, and others, did at some point). Because I'm sure that you're all on the edge of your seat, anxiously awaiting such photos by now, I shall not delay any further...HERE COME PICTURES!..click 'em...they become "large and in-charge."


Here we have yours truly, at a young age, having overcome adversity (also: beaten the odds). I am in a pseudo-triumphant pose because, dammit, I have scaled the (seemingly insurmountable) picnic table in our old backyard. The larger question, though, is "so how you gonna get down, kid?"

Damn...Didn't think of THAT...


Moving on, we have a picture of my sister, having built a snowman ALL BY HERSELF. See the pride which she exudes, pointing to the camera as if to say "boo-yaa, fuckers! Check THIS snowman, yo!" Of course, this photo really should be turned into one of those inspirational posters that reads: "Start small, achieve greatness later." Seriously, though, that's the most awesome snow-quadraplegic I've ever seen. Way to go, sis!


Here we see my sister and I displaying our MAD gardening skills. See that fat-ass cucumber? That's right, baby. It's obvious that my "GROW, GODDAMMIT" strategy was working. I'm especially proud of the fact that, even though we were seeing good progress from our little vegetable, that I was simply NOT BACKING DOWN! Heck yeah, look at that determination! Of course, perhaps I just had to go to the bathroom. Like...Really bad...Who knows...


Here we have a picture of a (completely awesome) domino tower which I constructed at some point in my younger days. Why was this worth taking a picture of? Hell if I know. Could I have built the tower higher? No. Them's all the dominos we had. What can I say? We made do with what we had. It was either building all-too-short domino towers or playing in the dirt out back...


And here we see my sister once again. In this shot, oblivious obviously to all things grooming and/or fashion related, she is ON A MISSION to color like nobody's business! Observe how she stays inside the lines, even despite the fact that she has to sit on the floor to color. COLOR! COLOR LIKE THE WIND! COLOR 'TIL DAWN, KID!..


Here we have ourselves a horribly grainy shot of the championship podium at the league wrasslin' tournament from when I was in junior high. The weight class in question here is "super-heavyweight." There I am, standing (proudly) in the second place position. Why am I leaning in that strange manner, you ask? It's simple, really...The (extra- fat) fat kid whom I lost to (planted there in the "first place" position) had himself a very strong gravitational pull. While the picture was being snapped I was resisting the urge to "orbit" him...


And speaking of wrasslin' (we were), here I am at a very early age, preparing for that same tournament by taking down my dad in a heads-up match some years earlier. You can plainly see me "going for the kill," as it were, reaching for my dad's throat. In fact, I believe that I won this particular match via "submission." Beware the small, pasty anglo baby...Beware...


and AGAIN speaking of wrasslin' (yes...we were), you can see that the skills run in the family. Here, my sister is giving a small, naked "Chucky Doll" all that he can handle (and possibly "more)...I'm the acting referee for this match, it would seem. A bit of trivia: my sister was the first to ask for a "5-count" on the pinfall, predating King Kong Bundy by a number of years...Her brutality? legendary on the doll wrasslin' circuit...Many a Betsy Wetsy pissed themselves just THINKING about having to take her on...

So anyhow, that's that! I know that you all feel quite the sense of accomplishment SIMPLY BY OSMOSIS having viewed the preceding depictions of triumph...Now GO FORTH AND CONQUER YOUR WEEKEND! That is all...

Labels: me roots, Phrickin' Photoblogs, tales of triumph