Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Random Crap is as Random Crap Does... 

Ever get to a point where you just have nothing to type about?..I mean, there's stuff goin' on and all that, but there's just not ENOUGH goin' on to turn into a cohesive entry? Is it just me? Regardless, I shall do my best to soldier on, despite such things...I bring you RANDOM POST OF CRAP! The crap begins...Now...

Congratulations to my cousin Jason, who married his fiancee Michelle on Friday. My wife and I couldn't make it to his wedding, but we WERE able to go to a barbecue which was held at my Aunt and Uncle's house for all of the relative-type folks who were still around. At one point, my cousins said that I should go jump on the trampoline. I declined, reminding them that the last time I did that, I ripped my pants. Another younger cousin (Brittany) heard this and mistakenly thought I said that I had "wet" my pants.

Brittany: "You wet your PANTS?"

Me: "No, I RIPPED my pants. RIPPED."

Brittany: "Oh...You know, if I HAD to choose, I would certainly rather wet my pants. See, if you wet 'em, you could just wash 'em and dry 'em and wear 'em all over again, but if you RIPPED your pants, well, then you'd have to sew 'em and then EVERYBODY would be pointing and asking you 'what did you do to your butt?' and you'd have to tell the story OVER and OVER...Yep...If I HAD to choose, I'd really rather wet my pants."

Me: "Yeah, well...I just threw mine away. Thanks, though."

Not long after that conversation, the stinkier of the two dogs that were at the barbecue emerged from a wading pool and shook itself off in the middle of everyone, Brittany included...A little while later, as Brittany was finishing off her drink, she made a "screwed-up" face and peered into her glass. After drinking the last of whatever was in there, she pulled back, shook her head and exclaimed "ooh...The end of that tasted like dog." now, the fact that she KNOWS what "dog" tastes like is perhaps something which I should find slightly disturbing. Of course, Brittany WAS the one who, while the younger people were discussing the food served at the aforementioned wedding, asked the very pointed question "why do those 'rich people' always eat such crappy food?"

for the record, the menu at my cousin's wedding looked really REALLY tasty, making me regret not being able to attend..."Yeah, yeah, congratulations...When do we eat?"
My dad was featured on the local news and in the newspaper this week because he had a revolutionary procedure done to remove a blockage from an artery in his leg about a month and a half ago...The doctor used what's called a Silverhawk to basically go in and "roto-rooter" a blocked vein in my dad's leg, completely removing a 7" blockage and effectively saving his leg. He's pretty happy with his brief fame now and continues to remind us that he "looked pretty damn good on the TV." I do think, however, that there are less painful ways to get on TV than by having a catheter inserted into your groin...Still, I'm happy that the procedure was successful...Yay, dad!
One of my uncles was not as fortunate as my dad, However...He had to have his right leg, I believe, amputated below the knee last week...From what I can gather, while in the hospital for problems with his toes, my uncle contracted an infection which basically ate away the bones starting with his foot and then progressing up his leg. Apparently, he also had a procedure done to his eye at one point and was wearing an eyepatch, the details of that I'm not certain about...I AM certain, though, that one of my uncle's grandkids has now decided that my uncle needs a wooden pegleg instead of a fancy prosthesis so that said grandkid can take him trick-or-treating in october...Yarr...

The kid isn't all there...He's funny, but he's not all there...
So, I think I fractured my left hand...Hockey puck, you see...This still remains to be seen...For now, I type tentatively.
Speaking of hockey (we were), the NHL has ended it's (completely frivolous) lockout, what with the players and owners coming to terms on a new collective bargaining agreement and it's being ratified at the end of last week. The players, despite their adamant refusal to accept a salary cap last year, will have to exist under said salary cap of around 34 million (maximum per team), with a maximum on individual players' salaries as well...It'll be interesting to see how the Avalanche fare under this new system, considering their spending habits in the past. Hell, either way, I'm just happy to have NHL hockey back.
Yet another Dead Money poker tournament is scheduled to "go down" at my house this coming weekend. I'm actually expecting a really good turnout for this tournament based on the RSVPs I've received already...There's still some people who haven't said yes or no (you know who you are), but things are still looking like there will be a decent field to fight through...As long as I'm not the first one out, I'll be happy.

Oh, who am I kidding...I HAVE TO WIN! I must now defend my title, after all...
Well, that's enough random crap for one day...You all have a fine Tuesday, we'll see you later.

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