Tuesday, January 11, 2005
I am a large fan of the Stranger Than Fiction column which runs, in my area, in the weekly liberal rag. Among other strange occurrences, this column often chronicles the actions of some of the sharper (read: dumber) criminals across the globe. In reading such accounts of criminal mastermindery, I am often reminded that people who are involved with larger crimes are routinely "caught" through their participation in the silliest of offenses. The story that follows is no exception...
By the way, I pulled this from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter, which I try and check every day. It's great readin' and it's "fun" keeping tabs on what crimes are happening and where. When I checked the blotter today, this was the top entry:
Cut directly from the blotter, my modifications and comments are in red.
Incident Date January 11, 2005 Time 2:30:00 AM Division Stetson Hills Shift III
Title Other Location N Chelton Road and Sturgis Road
Summary On 01/11/05, at approx 0230AM, Stetson Hills officers were dispatched to contact a milk delivery driver reference a suspicious silver in color cadillac, occupied 4 times. 4 different times? Or was it that the Cadillac was full, "dipped low with hard-core bruthas?" The driver indicated that he had been followed, while he was making deliveries. The (suspect) vehicle was stopped at Logan and Constitution where 6 gallons of milk at an estimated street value of $18.00, as well as assorted frozen foods were recovered. Seriously. I mean, I know that everything has VALUE...But...This is MILK, dude. "Estimated street value" indeed. Imagine a "milk pusher" comin' up to you: "yo, man, you wanna glass of milk?" is it cold? "Sho', sho' it cold. It's WHOLE milk, baby!" Gee, I dunno...All that milkfat... "What, you skeered? c'mon, man, first one's free!" During the contact it was found that the suspects were related to a call at (street address), where Sand Creek officers were investigating a Motor Vehicle Theft. Through suspect interviews as well as a reporting parties cooperation a Search Waiver was obtained, for (street address) and over 5 grams of suspected marijuana was seized. heh. Two juveniles were served and released for theft and two adult males were also arrested; one charged with Offenses Related to Marijuana-Distribution. See, to me it's obvious that the only people that they were DISTRIBUTING to was THEMSELVES...After all, they had the munchies so bad that they had to follow the Schwan's man around...Or maybe it was the Farm Crest guy. Still, they went and stole MILK... At the time of this report it is unknown how many victims woke up with no milk in their box. But would they KNOW that they'd been victimized? Seriously, some folks might not even notice...